Happy VD from AD

 I don't have much to say today.

It's probably better that way.

But Valentine's Day is coming up soon. And I have even less to say about that.

Still, if you have a sweetheart, and you want to express your feelings in a way that is unique, adorable, and geeky as hell, I found this comic from Bird and Moon. Share it with someone you love who is also unique, adorable, and geeky as hell, should you be so fortunate as to have such a person.

Remember, I love you all. 

Dr. Strange: A Very Professional and Not At All Fangirly Review

You guys, Precocious Daughter and I saw Doctor Strange yesterday.

And my brain just stopped working.

There was a slight bit of drama around this, as we had planned to see it on opening weekend all along, but then her father invited her to see it with him. And I realized for the nth time that my ex still has the power to disrupt my well-being simply by challenging my personal vow to take the high road where it comes to PDaughter and her dad maintaining a close relationship.

Translation: I was not going to block his invitation, I was angry and depressed at being shut out of this experience, and I got extremely drunk in an attempt to cope with the self-loathing that comes with remaining psychologically dependent on the largesse of my ex-spouse.

Long story short: Once I acquiesced and said PDaughter should see Doctor Strange with her dad, he capitulated and said she should see it with me.

So he got the strategic upper hand, but fuck him, I got to take my kid to the movies.

Oh, read on.

PDaughter and I are not huge fans of 3D, believing that seeing movies in that format is generally not worth the extra cost, the annoyance of wearing those cheap-ass glasses, or the vague headache one has to endure just for a couple of "oooh, it's poking out of the screen at me" moments. But. I'd read several reviews stating that the 3D effects in this particular movie were worth the investment, and also at our local theatre, the 3D auditorium features extra-wide, reclining leather seats. So I shelled out $32.00 for two tickets to a 3D showing.

Because Benedict Cumberbatch, duh.

Election? What election? *qlunq*

I'll cut to the chase: You guys, Doctor Strange is so good.

Yes, the 3D was worth the extra cost. And I've never said that about a movie before. The special effects in this movie are spectacular and actually make sense in the context of the plot - after all, Doctor Strange is a sorcerer who knows how to bend space and time. Totally 3D-worthy stuff, and so well done.

Benedict Cumberbatch takes on an American accent, and does a solid B+ job. He did say "die-mension" at one point instead of "dimension," and he did say "We haven't a moment to lose" once, which is not an American construction by any means. But he did manage to say "asshole" without a) turning it into "arsehole" or b) stretching it into a bogus-sounding "aaaasshooooole." Good on you. Well done.

His whole performance is terrific, in fact. He's funny. He's a really funny guy on talk shows and such (and of course he just hosted "Saturday Night Live"), but in movies he's almost always The Serious Actor. So the fact that the script gave him quips and one-liners, and he nailed them, was a treat.

Chiwetel Ejiofor plays Mordo, a master sorcerer who helps teach Doctor Strange the ways of magic. Pretty funny when you realize these two last acted together in Twelve Years a Slave, when the whole "master" dynamic was way different, knowwhatimean?

It's been paragraphs since I posted a photo.
Here's one of the super-adorable Cumberbatch & Son.

 One of my favorite characters in the move was the Cloak of Levitation or, as I began to think of it immediately, Cloakey. If you don't understand how a freaking cape can be a believable character, trust me. Doctor Strange and Cloakey have got it going on.

Mads Mikkelsen is a most excellent villain, even though his eye makeup makes him look kinda like a fourth-place finisher on "RuPaul's Drag Race." Mads Mikkelsen is awesome. He totally needs to be a Bond villain.

Oh wait, he already was. Hello, Le Chiffre.

This is the first Marvel Universe movie I've seen since the first Iron Man movie came out. All the succeeding sequels and permutations and handsome-actor-smirkfests were just superhero overload for me. Literally the only thing they could have done to entice me another Marvel film was to cast Benedict Cumberbatch in it.

Smart move, Marvel.

Oh and it's got lots of fighting and a big scary inter-dimensional being and stuff, too. And of course, the obligatory post-credits scene that sets up the next movie (hint: it's a crossover with another Marvel Universe character! Oooh!)

8.5/10, would sit in comfy recliner and drool over Benedict Cumberbatch again.

I Say Raghead in the Most Supportive Way

My friend Bill the Butcher occasionally features a comic strip on his blog about Raghead the Friendly Neighbourhood Terrorist.

That's Raghead on the (far) left.

Bill always spells "Neighborhood" wrong, but that's just because of India's slavish devotion to its former British imperial overlords. It's touching, really.

Anyway, I like to give Bill's blog a shout-out when I can, because it's really quite a brilliant mixture of politics, poetry, propaganda, and silliness, which doesn't begin with P but just adds to the silliness.

Fair warning: Mr. the Butcher is not a huge fan of American foreign policy or our current President. Sometimes I want to reach out across the Internet and shake him and tell him that the Americans who support Mr. Obama do so for reasons that have almost nothing to do with the plight of people in hard-to-pronounce areas of the world who don't actually affect our daily lives. That's narrow-minded and selfish, certainly, but the United States' relationship with Syria isn't nearly as important to most of us as whether we can afford to fill up the tanks of our decadent American cars.

That's psychology, not politics.

Anyway, I invite you to check out Bill's blog, because he's a gifted writer. And right now he's working on a series of Raghead strips in which he and his merry band of terrorists are making a movie.

Here's a link to the first strip.

Here's a link to the second strip.

I can't wait for the third strip, because the second one made me laugh out loud, which to me is always a promising sign.

I promised Bill I would encourage my Drunkards to check out "The Great Big ISIS Movie Extravaganza." Because I would hope that someday, someone will be a proponent of my writing if it so moves them. And also because Bill suffers from some happiness issues, and maybe if he sees that people are reading and appreciating his writing, he can work through those issues. He deserves happiness.

And Raghead is really cool.

And I like the idea that someone can make terrorists funny. Kind of takes the piss out of them.

Tomorrow this blog will return to self-absorption and the foibles of my life. But tonight is for a good friend I've never met, and the hope that he will continue to entertain us.

Word of the Day

Today I have an assist from my dino-friend, Cyrus. Take it away, Cyrus.

How do you know if neuropathy will go away?

If it goes away.

How do you know if it won't?

If it doesn't.

Ever.

Also, it's more like ant bites than bee stings, but bees are more visually appealing.

More to come...

The Beginning of the Beginning of the End

This happened first. Or last, depending on how you look at it.

More to come.

(I'm new to this webcomic thing. Be patient with me.)

I Am Snarkacus

One of my favorite websites on teh whole Internets is The Comics Curmudgeon. Because I'm a huge nerd.

If I were a cartoon character,
I would be Marcie.

I also love it because creator Josh Fruhlinger is brilliant. And because the folks who leave hundreds of comments on each day's post are funny, smart, generous, interesting, and unabashedly love the funnies. It's virtually a troll-free zone, and it's the rare destination on the Web that can say that.


I hate trolls.

 I regularly comment on The Comics Curmudgeon under the nom de blog Esther Blodgett. Because there are an awful lot of damn people living inside my head.

Also because I loveloveLOVE A Star Is Born.
Go watch it. Now.

One of the most coveted rewards of being a 'Mudgeon is having one of your snarky comics comments being named Comment of the Week. I told you we were nerds. But believe me, given the laugh-out-loud hilarity of some of the regular commenters, it's a big deal to have Josh name you the funniest thing he read that week.

I've been reading and commenting on The Comics Curmudgeon for several years, but have never been anointed COTW, although I've ridden the float of runners-up a few times, which is also incredibly cool.



People throw beads and candy bars and everything.

 This week, as you may know if you read any of my sad, self-indulgent rants, has been pretty bad for me.

Let's face, it, I've been a
10-piece bucket of crazy.

And then yesterday I surfed over to The Comics Curmudgeon and found this:


You like me! Right now, you like me!

 Yeah, it's kind of cheesy that this made my day. But it totally did, no lie. (I realize that if you don't follow "Judge Parker" in the comics, my comment makes absolutely no freaking sense, let alone seems funny. But Josh liked it, and frankly, if you're not a comics dork, his opinion trumps yours in this matter.)

Thanks to Josh and my fellow 'Mudgeons for this honor that means way more than it should to any sane person but we're talking me about me so yeah. And if you're a lover of comics of high-quality snark, please go support The Comics Curmudgeon at http://www.joshreads.com/.

But not if you're a troll. I hate trolls.


Not trolls.

 But I love when the universe drops some love on me when I need it most. Thanks, universe. I needed that.

And Now, A Word About Corn

"Corn" is a funny word.

Also, "Sweet yellow corn!" is a great exclamation.
Sounds like something Perry White would say.

So it stands to reason that a comic strip about a giant walking, talking ear of corn would be...uh,  terrifying and loathsome. No! No, it would be funny. Funny like corn.

This, on the other hand, is pretty terrifying.
I'll bet those signs all say some variation of "Help me."

Look, the point is, my friend Michael writes and draws a web comic called "The Amaizing Jim Corn." Get it? A-maize-ing? It's what the Indians call corn, or did before we took away their land and destroyed their way of life.

And gave their parts in PSAs to Italians.

"The Amaizing Jim Corn" relates the adventures of Derek Farmer and his best friend, the titular humanoid vegetable.

All the best cartoon characters wear gloves.
Jim himself has been known to sport a popcorn Afro,
although that's a less common trope.

Just like real corn, the comic is sweet and gets stuck in your teeth. Wait. No. Well, it is sweet sometimes, and sometimes a little naughty, and at times quite surreal. Of course, if you're reading a comic strip about a wisecracking ear of corn and expecting hyper-realism, perhaps you need therapy even more than I do, as unlikely as that seems.

Please give me whatever drugs will remove this from my brain.

Oh yeah, it also makes me laugh. A lot. Which is why I wanted to tell you about it. You like to laugh, don't you? Of course, you're reading this blog, so maybe you just like to stare at your computer screen with glazed, uncomprehending eyes. Well, you can do that at www.jimcorncomic.com just as well as here.

Hmmm. When I told Michael I'd be giving "The Amaizing Jim Corn" a shout-out in my blog, he probably expected something marginally less disjointed and inscrutable than this.

Like this.

Well, shame on him for poor expectations management.

And SHAME ON YOU if you don't go check out "The Amaizing Jim Corn." Oh, he has his own Facebook page, too. OH, and Michael hasn't actually produced a new Jim Corn comic in several weeks now, so in addition to giving him some well-deserved exposure, I kind of also want to needle him into getting on the cob and drawing some new installments.

C'mon, Drunkards. I have readers from more than 100 countries, some of whom actually come here on purpose and not as a result of Googling "fork porn." Aside: "fork porn" actually turned up in my stats yesterday as a search metric. You people are sick.

Still...give the people what they want, I always say.

Did I mention that Jim's neighbor is a grumpy giant pig? What more do you want? Go read it, now. Tell 'em Chuck Baudelaire sent you.

Hee hee hee...corn.

You Didn't Ask, But Here's the Answer

At the end of a conversation, someone said to me, "Take care of yourself."

Seems innocuous, doesn't it? But this is me we're talking about.

So when I heard those four little words, I became like one of those people who get all pissy when someone blesses them after a sneeze. (I'm not one of those people, by the way. I need all the blessing I can get - Christian, pagan, elvish, whatever.) I started to pretzelize the simple concept of "Take care of yourself" as it might apply to me with regard to being said by someone who may or may not have had ulterior motives or even have meant anything at all other than "This is how I chose to end our friendly conversation without giving any thought to how you might obsessively interpret the words for hours after I uttered them and promptly forgot about them."

Because that's what I do.



Hold on, I'm almost done cross-indexing every word you've ever said to me.

 And so, although clearly "Take care of yourself" was not said with the expectation of a response, I crafted a dozen of them.

Yeah, it's probably not a good idea to tell me to "Have a nice day," either. Just saying.

From Beloved Spouse to You

Beloved Spouse has asked me to share a funny with you. So I will, because:

a) I love him.
b) I think it's funny, too.
c) It involves a drawing of an octopus.
d) I don't have to come up with an idea for today's post.

Without further ado, I give you the latest social-protest movement to sweep the nation...

We like silly, topical, tentacle-based humor. Thank God we found each other.

Get it? "Octopi Wall Street"?

*collapses into giggles*

Bachelor of Steel

Of all places, it's TMZ.com that has broken the day's most staggering, earth-shaking news: Clark Kent and Lois Lane are breaking up.


Return to your homes, citizens. Remain calm.

This, on top of the breaking news that JLo and Marc "El Ratboy" Anthony are splitsville, clearly establishes TMZ's pre-eminence among worldwide news organizations. Thank goodness the vacuum created by the death of "News of the World" has been filled so capably.


But don't count out the Weekly World News.

Still, this is serious business. DC Comics apparently needs several more dump-trucks full of money and has resorted to a reboot of the Superman franchise. And it will take three separate soon-to-be-collectible comic books to accomplish the enrichment of DC's coffers in this fashion.

They've always been jealous of that bastard
cash-cow duck over at Disney Comics.

But there's more. According to Newsarama.com, it's not just Superman but the entire DC Comics universe that will be getting axed and reborn, resulting in a slate of 52 comics beng lucratively renumbered #1. That's mind-boggling, and not just because of the frightening implication that there are enough dorks with money out there to support so much nerdish literature. At least they're not spending all that money on hard drugs or cures for cancer.



Um, excuse me: No banging your head on the display
case, please. It contains a very rare Mary Worth in which
she has advised a friend to commit suicide. Thank you.

However, it's the news that Clark Kent and Lois Lane will be not only un-married but not even an item that is getting all the mainstream press. Because no one really cares that Aquaman's gills are going to be a different color or that Cyborg, uh, exists. Most of the world knows the following about the Superman universe: Clark Kent loves Lois Lane, and Superman wears a cape and red undies.

Well, hold on to your tights, people:

His undies are now blue!!! Um, either that, or he's removed them and is going around in just his blue leotard. There seems to be an awful lot of packaging on display there, if you know what I mean. Outlines and such. Just saying.

To recap: Clark Kent and Lois Lane are back to being colleagues-without-benefits and at some point presumably will begin their excruciating decades-long cocktease romance all the hell over again, because obviously no one who was born before 1990 will find that tedious and repetitive. And Superman's shorts are either blue or he's decided the Man of Steel don't need no verdammt cup.

So grab your acid-free document bags and stock up on Bugles, because you're going to have a whole lot of new comic literature to pore over starting in September. Or take a walk in the brisk fall air and maybe adopt a shelter animal. You know, they could both be fun. If you're into that sort of thing. *cough*

Me, I'll be hunting down more vintage issues of Scrooge McDuck for my collection. Scrooge McDuck rocks. What are you looking at?

-------------------------
Disclaimer: I have a deep and abiding love for geeks, nerds, dorks, and their ilk. And for comic books, although I'm the type who smudges up the covers and cuts out the coupons to order Sea Monkeys. So don't go all con-panel-elitist on me. And I've always thought Lois Lane was a ninny.

"I Find It Hilarious" Friday

No politics today - it's Friday! Someone should write a song about that!


Someone else.

Actually, someone else did. Who doesn't count The Cure's "Friday I'm in Love" among their favorite songs? Bad people, that's who. C'mon, sing along!


I love this chart very much.

I had a pretty happy week, so I'm going to list some things I find hilarious. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

I find it hilarious that Barry Manilow and Newt Gingrich were both born on this day in 1943.


One of these guys is singing "Copacabana."

I find it hilarious that two-headed turtles come in two varieties.



Remember, next year is an election year!

I find it hilarious that I'm attracted to the "Coach Kaz" character in the Gil Thorp comic strip.

Don't read Gil Thorp?
Check out the awesome blog "This Week in Milford."

I find it hilarious that NBA Finals MVP Dirk Nowitzki enthusiastically belted out "We Are the Champions" in front of 10,000 people despite having no discernible singing talent.


Lebron would have told the crowd to go back to their little lives
and sing their own damn song.

I find this absolutely freaking hilarious.

I find it hilarious that Henry Kissinger, who was brilliantly interviewed by Stephen Colbert this week, actually sounds exactly like every Henry Kissinger impersonation you've ever heard.

The Colbert Report
Tags: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Like this one.



Say, isn't that Sen. Al Franken (D-Minnesota) before he became a bloated, humorless left-wing politician? Jawhol, I think it is.

And finally, I find this hilarious.

I think Cookie Monster is cuter than Bruno Mars, anyway.

That's it for now. Tomorrow I might be surely will be back to being cranky as hell, but today it's Friday, and this has been "I Find It Hilarious."

OK, just one more.