Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Cats, Love, Contest...The Perfect Blog Post, Yes?

To begin:

Confidential to Karen McBoob: I love you. I just fell in love with you. Big sloppy wet kiss.

To continue:

Here's my Victorian cat doll.

My almost-ex unearthed her from the hall closet while searching for our Trivial Pursuit box so we could have one last Family Game Night before ceasing to be a family.

Which turns out to be an incredibly sad thought,
so let's just move on.

Anyway, my Victorian cat doll was the first or second thing I ever bought on eBay, way back in the day. Just because I love Victorian cats, and I couldn't believe you could type "Victorian cat" in eBay and find all of these wonderful things to buy.

Like I was supposed to look at this and not buy it.
Am I a monster?

Honestly, I thought I had already gotten rid of her. There have been so many purges of personal possessions/keepsakes/memories over the last couple of years that I naturally assumed a ceramic cat in a lacy 19th-century dress wouldn't have made the cut. Yet here she is.

Hell yes, I'm keeping her.

By the way, she's never had a name. She deserves a name, I think.

Suggestions are most welcome. I'll pick a name from among them, if they materialize.

The winner gets...a shoutout here, which is probably the most worthless prize anyone could ask for. Hahaha.

But still, that's the prize.

Suggestions are welcome.

I love my Victorian cat doll.

And all of you...but tonight, especially, Karen McBoob.

Namaste, my bitches.


  1. Click here for this one weird trick that's five celebrities whose diets will surprise you. Number three is especially shocking!

    Now that's out of the way...shouldn't a Victorian cat lady have a Dickensian name?

    Clara Catterfield
    Estella Cattisham
    Catty Pecksniff

  2. You have cat to be kitten me right now.

    Do you really lurv me? Well the feeling is mutual. Muah, right back atcha. So does this mean I'm officially one of your bitches? I always wanted to be a bitch.

    That cat reminded me of Lady Catherine (Kitty?) De Bourgh

    I guess cuz she looks like she comes from old money. So she'd have to have some hoity toity name like The Grand Duchess Catarina DePauws.
    or maybe Puss in Victorian Boots (is she even wearing boots?).
    Could be a Steampunk Kitty (nah, she doesn't look like a punk).
    How about Scarlet O'Hairball (She looks like she's got a little southern charm).
    Of course, you could go the obvious route and name her Fluffy. (Cuz she's ceramic)
    Maybe even RuPaws (Because let's face it, anything could be under that dress)
    Still, I should admit, although my heart is one hundred purrcent in the game, my head isn't really in it. I once named a kitten Fred. He didn't even look like a Fred.
    I suppose it wouldn't be catastrophic if I didn't win this contest. My entire world wouldn't suddenly go all cattywampus. I can't be too witty if I can't name a kitty and these names I've suggested are pretty shitty, which is a pity. What we need is a naming subcommittee.

    Oh shit... guess what I just found ... 150 Punny cat names:

    I wish I could figure out how to put images in these comments:

  3. Cattywampus is actually a pretty good name.

  4. Oh my god, I can't believe that exists either. And also: why?

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