Writing Prompts for 2017

OK, aspiring writers! We're four days into the new year; how's that novel coming?

Finished the first act of your new play?

Where are you in your blockbuster script?

And that epic poem...is that developing nicely?

How's your dactylic hexameter?

No?

Look, people, it's 2017. There's no time to lose. If last year taught us anything, it's that life is full of shit. On the down side, that means life is full of shit. On the up side, there's absolutely nothing we can't do if we're bold and audacious.

Bowie looked death in the eye and recorded Blackstar.
What's your goddamn excuse?

It's time to write, mofos. Write as if words are oxygen. Because they are. Write as if blank pages breed venomous hell-demons. Because they do.

Write as if every unwritten sentence kills a kitten.

Ummm...meow?

What? You're trying? But the ideas aren't coming?

You're in luck.

I've got some prompts for you.

Writing prompts are a great way to get the creative juices flowing. A few words, a phrase, an idea...the prompt gives you a starting point, and your imagination takes it from there.

I'm pretty sure that's how the works of Hemingway and most of the Old Testament were written.

What really happened to the dinosaurs...and go.

Use these prompts to begin your literary journey. You can write anything: Sci-fi, fantasy, melodrama, farce. Draw on your experiences. See what they inspire. Remember, writing is sanity. The stakes are high.

Have fun.

Writing Prompts for 2017

1. A crazed billionaire tries to play an elaborate prank but accidentally becomes President of the United States.

2. Aliens land on Earth and spend a year identifying the planet's most beloved people...then kill them all.

3. Polar ice caps melt at an alarming and increasing rate.

4. Religious leader preaches humility from $200 million pulpit.

5. Internet investigates the death of irony, identifies __________ as prime suspect.

6. Popular alternative to cancer-causing cigarettes also causes cancer.

7. Social media breeds anti-social behavior.

8. Rookie quarterback steps in to replace injured star of America's favorite football team, leads them to playoffs.

9. Terrorists murder groups of people randomly and without warning in public places.

10. Sloths, pandas, and otters.

Spin me a tale, Drunkards.

Friday Night Truth

Let's play a game, Drunkards.

Comment here or on my Facebook page with the answers to these questions. Tag other people whose answers you want to see. If enough of you respond, I'll post my own responses tomorrow.

Ready?

Let's play.

I love: __________

I hate: __________

I want: __________

I need: __________

I wish: __________

I don't give a fuck: __________

Go.

To Quote Stevie Wonder, I Wish

I kind of wish I were transgender, because it would give me a good reason to feel like an outcast who still manages to be awesome on his/her own terms.

I kind of wish I had a time machine, so I could travel back to my 20-year-old self and tell her to look more closely at the bad boy.

I kind of wish I hadn't voted for Bill Clinton in 1992, because it philosophically links me to the train wreck that is Hillary Clinton's 2016 campaign, and I do not want that.

I kind of wish I didn't have a visceral negative response to the smell, taste, texture, and appearance of onions in my food, because surely I would appear to be a more normal person if that were the case.

I kind of wish I were an alcoholic, because merely being a heavy drinker gives me no incentive to stop swilling vodka every night until I pass out.

I kind of wish I could see the future, so I knew how this will all turn out.

What do you wish?

If Wishes Were Wishes

You find a genie lamp!

Rubby rubby.

Standard three wishes, guys. Top of your head: What do you wish?

Here are mine.

I wish I could wear bright red lipstick.

I wish I had enough money to give to my spouse so that he would be financially stable after we divorce.

I wish I had a tiny house...in my name only.

Disclaimer: If you ask me tomorrow, I may have three different wishes. That's the great thing about wishes.

What are yours, Drunkards?