Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Writing Prompts for 2017

OK, aspiring writers! We're four days into the new year; how's that novel coming?

Finished the first act of your new play?

Where are you in your blockbuster script?

And that epic that developing nicely?

How's your dactylic hexameter?


Look, people, it's 2017. There's no time to lose. If last year taught us anything, it's that life is full of shit. On the down side, that means life is full of shit. On the up side, there's absolutely nothing we can't do if we're bold and audacious.

Bowie looked death in the eye and recorded Blackstar.
What's your goddamn excuse?

It's time to write, mofos. Write as if words are oxygen. Because they are. Write as if blank pages breed venomous hell-demons. Because they do.

Write as if every unwritten sentence kills a kitten.


What? You're trying? But the ideas aren't coming?

You're in luck.

I've got some prompts for you.

Writing prompts are a great way to get the creative juices flowing. A few words, a phrase, an idea...the prompt gives you a starting point, and your imagination takes it from there.

I'm pretty sure that's how the works of Hemingway and most of the Old Testament were written.

What really happened to the dinosaurs...and go.

Use these prompts to begin your literary journey. You can write anything: Sci-fi, fantasy, melodrama, farce. Draw on your experiences. See what they inspire. Remember, writing is sanity. The stakes are high.

Have fun.

Writing Prompts for 2017

1. A crazed billionaire tries to play an elaborate prank but accidentally becomes President of the United States.

2. Aliens land on Earth and spend a year identifying the planet's most beloved people...then kill them all.

3. Polar ice caps melt at an alarming and increasing rate.

4. Religious leader preaches humility from $200 million pulpit.

5. Internet investigates the death of irony, identifies __________ as prime suspect.

6. Popular alternative to cancer-causing cigarettes also causes cancer.

7. Social media breeds anti-social behavior.

8. Rookie quarterback steps in to replace injured star of America's favorite football team, leads them to playoffs.

9. Terrorists murder groups of people randomly and without warning in public places.

10. Sloths, pandas, and otters.

Spin me a tale, Drunkards.


  1. I don't know if I have the energy left. 2016 took so much but gave me a nice little pile of rejection notices. Maybe I should burn those for fuel.
    Ironically one of the things that got rejected was a piece about an actor who, in spite of being beloved, admired, and 87, survived 2016.
    Did my writing about him have something to do with his still being above ground? Maybe.
    Think about that. If I'd written about Prince, Bowie, and Duck Edwing (look him up) before their deaths they might still be around. What if I have the power of life and death over celebrities great and small?
    Hordes of pop culture figures beat a path to my door begging me to pen the prolonging of their existences and I, with only so much time, find myself wracked with guilt over every death I might have prevented.
    There's a story for you.
    You're welcome.

  2. A terrorist sloth tried to kill an alien otter but ended up being eaten by a billionaire otter at an American """""""football"""""" game.



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