Monday, June 22, 2015

To Quote Stevie Wonder, I Wish

I kind of wish I were transgender, because it would give me a good reason to feel like an outcast who still manages to be awesome on his/her own terms.

I kind of wish I had a time machine, so I could travel back to my 20-year-old self and tell her to look more closely at the bad boy.

I kind of wish I hadn't voted for Bill Clinton in 1992, because it philosophically links me to the train wreck that is Hillary Clinton's 2016 campaign, and I do not want that.

I kind of wish I didn't have a visceral negative response to the smell, taste, texture, and appearance of onions in my food, because surely I would appear to be a more normal person if that were the case.

I kind of wish I were an alcoholic, because merely being a heavy drinker gives me no incentive to stop swilling vodka every night until I pass out.

I kind of wish I could see the future, so I knew how this will all turn out.

What do you wish?


  1. I wish I would have left my ex when I originally wanted to (while I was pregnant) because things would be so much less complicated now.

    I wish I would have gone to college after having my first child (at 18) because I might actually have a career right now instead of constantly doing the Kermit Flail out of stress instead of excitement.

    I wish I had a time machine also, so that I could go back and make my dad invest my then $150 bank account in Apple.

    I wish I weren't always attracted to idiots that are completely wrong for me -- aside from my kids, nothing good has come from them.

    I wish depression were as easy to ride out as the common cold.

    I wish alcohol were completely calorie free because holy shit I'm getting fat!

    I wish I lived closer to your fabulous self, even though I know I'd have to work three jobs just to have a separate bank account for our bail fund...

    I think that's good for now.

  2. This is a wish I think I've always had, so I was tickled when I found Stephen J. Gould had written a whole essay about having the same wish: to be able to experience the world as another species, a whole different animal, but to retain human consciousness so I could come back to myself with an understanding of how that animal sees the world.

    Gould picked a vulture. I'd choose a jellyfish or starfish, something so far out my human brain might not be able to process it.

    At the heart of that wish, I think, is a desire to understand alternate perspectives, because understanding how others feel seems to be the key to making the world a better place.

    It's why I can relate to, and sometimes even share, the wish to be transgender. For my transgender friends it's no picnic, but I feel that, as much as I'm sympathetic to what they're going through, I can't really understand it. I can't understand the pain and suffering they've been through, that other people have put them through.

    And if other people could understand their pain and suffering maybe they wouldn't have to put up with so much.

  3. I wish I could go back to when I as sixteen.

    if I could go back to when I was sixteen, I would tell myself to follow what I wanted to do, not what my parents/other people wanted me to do. I'd tell myself that I knew better what I wanted than they did, and not listening to them is the very best thing I could do for myself. I would tell me that my creativity was a strength, not a weakness, and that I could be happy instead of depressed and suicidal by playing to those strengths. I would tell myself to do what I wanted and not what anyone else wanted. I would give myself permission to be me.


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