Updates on the Last Few Posts Because UPDATES

Just a couple of things tonight.

First, my mom is home from the hospital as of this morning. She had heart surgery six days ago, and now she's home. If that's not goddamn amazing, I don't know what is.

One more time, thank you all for your love, support, and encouragement. I pretty much need my parents to live forever, and I'm beyond grateful that as of now, they each have a clean bill of health.

Next...penguins.

I'm sort of surprised that my loyal Drunkards are not as wholeheartedly pro-penguin as I am.

I'm not surprised to get only 12 responses. That's, like, 99% of my readership, tbh.

All I can say is, I'm not backing down from my support of penguins. This transcends party lines. I'm standing up for what's right here, namely PENGUINS.

While dissent is welcome, my response to the anti-pen faction is covfefe.

So there.

Finally, tomorrow is June 1st.

Apart from needing to pay my rent, I'm reminded that 2017 is nearly half over. And I've accomplished bugger-all. I need to change that, if only to prove to myself that I'm not a wasted clump of cells that happened to give birth to an awesome daughter.

I need goals for 2nd half 2017.

It would help if you shared yours. So share them, please.

I may blatantly copy yours, or be inspired by yours, or ignore yours because there's no freaking way I'm going to do yoga four times a week between now and December.

Still. Share, won't you?

Thanks, Drunkards. You guys ROCK.

Shown: Rock.

As always, like/comment/share to make me happy.

I Call This...Penguexit. Sure, Why Not.

Earlier today, my sister-from-another-mister and fellow blogger The Jeneral did the world a favor and posted her IRL Tinder profile on Facebook:

If I were not in a committed relationship and also a dude, I would totally swipe that in whatever direction you swipe when you dig someone on Tinder. Up? Down? Honestly, if I were not in a committed relationship I would be scared to death to sign up for Tinder because I got more than enough rejection in middle and high school to last a lifetime, thank you very much.

But I digress.

Obviously The Jeneral has an awesome Tinder profile. She's an awesome human, what do you expect? Or so I thought, until one small detail jumped out at me and punched me in the solar plexus aka the actual physical feels:

Dislikes penguins? Really?

Is that even something rational humans are capable of? Of which rational humans are capable?

Whatever.

LOOK AT THIS SWEETHEART OF THE ANTARCTIC.

*dying*

Anyway, I got into a spirited debate with one of The Jeneral's FB friends on the topic of penguins. Epithets were not hurled, but only because The Jeneral's FB friends (myself included) are classy af. But the message was clear: We did not and would not agree on the subject of penguins' absolute domination of the Most Kick-Ass Animal on the Planet category.

COME ON, PEOPLE.

Eventually I declared that the debate would have to be settled by my very own Drunkards, who represent a completely heterogeneous slice of society and not simply weird social media-addicted outcasts who revel in the Schadenfreude that is reading this blog.

Are you mofos even ready for that kind of responsibility?

Gunther wants to know.

Ready or not, I created a poll. It's very simple: Pro-penguin, or pro-no-joy-in-life-and-probably-also-eats-babies? Please vote below. It takes like literally two seconds. Vote, and I'll let you know what happens.

Whether the results are yay or nay, I'll rant about them in this space very soon.

<subliminal message>Vote pro-penguin and I'll send you a million Internet dollars.</subliminal message>

Thank you for your support.

Penguins: For or Against?

Penguins ROCK!

Ugh, flightless bastards.

I have no particular opinion on penguins and am therefore a waste of atoms.

Do Riddles