Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Land of the Armed, Home of the Drunk

There's a Constitutional amendment that gives Americans the right to own guns.

There's also a Constitutional amendment that gives Americans the right to drink.

Let me say from the outset that two rights
can most definitely make a wrong.
Few question either right, although some strongly disapprove of one, the other, or both. But everyone gets to choose to exercise or abstain from their right to bear arms or knock back a cold one. That's how America rolls.

Yet despite the Constitutional mandate, the right to get your drink on is far from unrestricted. You have to be the right age. You have to be in the right place. And you definitely have to refrain from certain behaviors while under the influence.

Like driving. Or harassing/assaulting others. Or serving on jury duty.

And don't even think about combining these two Constitutional rights. IT'S A VERY BAD IDEA.

Please refer to my earlier caption.

Literally no one balks at the idea that drivers should be licensed, insured, properly trained, and subject to extensive regulation of their behavior behind the wheel.

But merely float the idea that perhaps gun ownership should incorporate similar public safeguards, and certain supporters of the Second Amendment go apeshit.

Shown here: Literal gorilla poop.

I personally don't get this. I mean, if I drink 12 shots of vodka and subsequently threaten a similarly drunken stranger with physical violence, I totally expect to be held accountable for my behavior. That's how law and order works.

According to the 57 shows bearing that name.

But if one person with a gun encounters another person with a gun, I'm supposed to have faith that one boasts moral superiority because they're a "good guy" and also because somehow their aim is automatically perfect because they believe they're John Wayne?

Yeah. So. I'm as wary of gun owners with a marksman complex as I am with drunks who insist they can "handle it."

I don't want to take away any American's rights.

I simply want to be confident that my personal right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness can't be destroyed in a split second.

I promise not to piss and moan that I can't down a handle of Smirnoff while driving down the freeway if 2A folks promise not to pretend that only pure-hearted, law-abiding citizens are able to obtain/use assault rifles.

Hi! The ability to shoot an assault rifle WAY outweighs
the lives of your loved ones! Signed, the NRA.
Right here, right now, gun people:

Tell me why the Second Amendment is inviolable to the rule of law but the Twenty-First Amendment can be abridged all to hell and gone.

Tell me why you pay a tiny group of people to advance the interests of gun ownership over all other American rights.

Tell me why you stubbornly believe that Americans have a right to self-defense, while simultaneously pushing the false narrative that a "good guy with a gun" is somehow the answer to preventing/thwarting crime in any and all settings, regardless of the danger posed to people by an untrained private citizen attempting to affect justice via a personal weapon.

Tell me why killing innocent people because I'm drunk driving is a terrible offense, but killing innocent people with a gun is somehow the price of freedom.

I'm honest to God listening.

I await your intelligent, reasoned responses.

For as long as it takes.


  1. Alcohol needs better lobbyists.

    I ran a search on, and it appears all alcohol contributions to campaigns ("beer, wine, and liquor") came up to about $22 million so far this year. This is actually MORE than gun rights contributions, which was only about $7 million.

    But alcohol doesn't have an NRA.

    When I look at the Heller gun decision at the Supreme Court level (where the Court says that the limitation written into the 2nd Amendment doesn't mean anything), I realize just how successful the gun lobby has been at dominating the discusion.

  2. I have no argument. I can only offer a thought-provoking headline from The Onion: "‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens".

  3. A guiltless casualty in a mishap caused by a drunk driver can confront a wide range of restorative and budgetary complexities. The torment and enduring caused by such a mischance is hard to gauge.מהירות מופרזת


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