Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Three Hundred Fifty-Five Days and Counting

So I haven't posted lately.

Turns out 2017 is not yet appreciably less difficult than 2016.

It's gonna be a long year.
First there's the whole thing about Donald Trump being inaugurated as President of the Goddamn United States in just 10 days. That's a problem for me. Even without the whole Meryl Streep brouhaha.

I love her, political views be damned.
Then there's the fact that right now I'm filled with anger that I'm not sure I can even define. I feel as if I'm a disappointment to myself, to my daughter, to my co-workers, and that makes me angry, at them and at myself. I can't really explain it. But 2017 has started off as a bit of an emotional quagmire for me.

Also, I'm locked in a battle between hope and despair. I suppose I'm not alone in that battle. I'll bet lots of you reading this are struggling with the same conflicting emotions. You're not alone, people. I understand. I don't have any advice to give about how to choose one over the other. Do you? If you do, I'd love to hear it. If you don't...I get it. Really.

Finally, I feel as if I'm slowly strangling to death the one gift I've been given in my life...the ability to write. My head is so full of ideas these days, but I can't translate them into written words. I'm in sort of a panic over this. What if the ability never comes back? What if I'm doomed to entertain all of my tortured, complex thoughts within me forever, and never drag them onto the written page where they can be shared, and possibly tamed? I wish I could  regain the marvelous affinity for the written word that so overwhelmed me when I was younger. I hope it returns. I hope I'm not destined to be one of those dull people who never express themselves but only yearn to be heard, to no avail, their entire lives.

If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

So yeah...2017 is presenting some challenges. It's not as if we've lost David Bowie all over again, but still I'm feeling put upon by this new year already. 

If only I had something to write about, I'd be so happy.

Share if you have any ideas. I'd be happy to write for you.

4 comments:

  1. One of the good things that happened to me last year was I joined a writing group. It's helped when my brain felt like it was full of barbed wire and custard. I hope that little piece of advice will help you.

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  2. Let your head be. It will come. Meanwhile keep blabbing to us. We're here to listen.

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  3. I found a "Together We Will" group on FB (what was once "Pantsuit Nation"). We all found each other spontaneously the day after Election Day, and it's been great to interact with a group of women who are going to work together to fight the good fight. I'm sure there is a group near you.

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  4. Haven't been writing as much as usual myself, but I rarely do in winter. it's not the best time of year for me.

    You'll probably get better in a bit.

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You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.