Sunday, August 13, 2017

Today Has Been So Awesome, You Guys

A good friend messaged me this today:

"Call me when/if you stop drinking."

And I'm like, OK. Will do.

But...what does that mean?

If I wake up tomorrow and decide I'm not going to drink any more, does that count? Will you really say, "OK, we can be friends again because you've stated this decision"? Or will you  say "Yeah, fuck that, your words mean nothing"?

I totally understand.

So, what if I go a week without drinking? Does that prove to you that I've "stopped"?

If not, what about a month?

What about six months?

What if I call you one year from now and say, "It's been a year since I've had a drink."  Will that be good enough for you?

Does it need to be one year? Or two? Or five?

Do I need to call you on my death bed and say, "I definitely have stopped drinking, because I'm about to die and so you don't have to worry that I'll have another drink"?

The point is, you gave me an impossible ultimatum.

I could answer it tomorrow or when I'm 90.

Which means I interpret it as "I don't ever want to hear from you again."

So OK. You never will.

Thanks, friend.

By the way, I stopped drinking as soon as I got your message. Because you mean that much to me.



  1. See, your brain goes a different way with that than mine.

    Me, I'd call them when I'd stopped drinking for the night. "I called you because I'm done for the night. If I have another sip, I'm not going to be able to get up in the morning. So what do you want?"

    Instead, it sounds like maybe somebody is blamning their problems on your habits. Which is screwed up.

  2. You could definitely use a break from drinking. You know what I am talking about.

    *(And no, I'm not the "good friend" she'stalking about up there.)

  3. There's nothing like a friend who says "I'm worried about you. Call me when I don't have to be." More specifically such a person is nothing like a friend.


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