Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I Need Your Help

Good evening, Drunkards. I have two terrible jokes and I need to know which is terribler. Please weigh in.

Here's Option #1.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
"Breathe, damn you, breathe!"

Yeah, that's pretty bad, but wait. Here's Option #2.

How many Freudian psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to hold the penis. LADDER! I meant ladder!

The winner will move on to the next round of terrible jokes. Yeah, there are more. So let me know, and remember:


  1. Is it bad that I thought that these were both hilarious and actually made me laugh out loud? The second one is especially funny, but would probably be better when delivered in person instead of read on a page because of the enthusiasm you'd throw into the punchline. The first one is probably only funny to me because I love the shit out of wine, and grapes make that wonderful mess possible.

    AAH! I'm so confused! Which one is a better bad joke?! *sigh* Let me go confront my Magic 8 Ball (yes, I still have one of those things)...

    Okay, we're going to go with the grape joke as the worse of the two. And I'm also going to use the penis/ladder one at work tomorrow. Because - penis.

  2. May I tickle myself? I don't see how I could laugh at either otherwise.

  3. Penis. Always. I had an improv teacher who didn't think penis jokes were funny. I had a hard time taking his comedy advice after that.

  4. Penis jokes are always funny. But, you're asking which is worse... I'm gonna have to go with the grape one. I did giggle, but not as much as the penis one, because, penis... obvi!

  5. Wait. The grapes under the penis... no... I'm confused.

  6. I liked the grape joke, because I like to be surprised by a punchline. And I didn't see that one coming.


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