Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Social Guinea Pig is Social

I haven't talked a lot about the Baudelaire family's newest pet.

Oh, hai. Ignore the EVIL RED EYES, plz.
This is Muinea. It rhymes with Guinea. As in pig. Her full name is Muinifer B. Guinifer. The "B" stands for Ermahgerd. Yes, really. You DO know whose blog you're reading, right? This shouldn't surprise you.

Muinea joined our household in August. She was small then. Like, sort of mouse-size. But on a diet of pellets, timothy hay, and Craisins, she's grown.

Now, she's an adolescent guinea pig. She enjoys social media.

George Takei cracks her up.
She also enjoys this blog, bless her rodential heart.

Witty satire and social commentary.
Almost as good as carrots.
Pigu (we call her that because Precocious Daughter plays Minecraft and apparently that's a thing - consult a middle-schooler for more details) joined us in August. She was supposed to be PDaughter's pet and responsibility. And she is. Except that the two adults in the Baudelaire household have fallen head over heels in love with her.

Especially when she breaks out her
tribute to Elvis.
We feed her carrots. We wrap her in a towel and snuggle with her. We BATHE her, for corn's sake.

PDaughter paid for the guinea pig, its cage and accoutrements, with her own money, earned through good grades and household chores.

But Beloved Spouse and I are stupid in love with the little rodent.

I'm thinking of giving Muinea her own Facebook page.

What's wrong with me??

On the other hand, no diapers, no day care, and no Little League fees.

How many guinea pigs do you think I could trade for one healthy, intelligent child?

KIDDING. So....so kidding.

Really.

1 comment:

  1. That is friggin' hilarious!
    "Muinifer B. Guinifer. The "B" stands for Ermahgerd." Bwaahahahaha! You really are an evil genius, and I think I love you more and more every time I visit your page. <3

    ReplyDelete

You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.