Thursday, July 12, 2012

Not Rats...Pigs

A few months ago I wrote about Precocious Daughter's burning desire to have pet rats.

Burning Rats. Great band name.
She never did get her rats, in part because she insisted on buying them from a private rat breeder (yes, actually a thing) instead from the local pet store, and I passive-aggressively refused to help her track one down in our area. You can't hurt me by calling me a bad mother, I already know it.

Awww. See, I know what a good mom looks like, at least.
Anyway, yesterday PDaughter announced that she no longer wants pet rats. "Do you want to hear what I want instead?" she asked. My mind reeled.

But everyone else has one!
Turns out she wants...a guinea pig.


Could have been much worse.
Seriously, I was so relieved at the banality of her request that I immediately said yes, before she could even unleash the barrage of carefully-researched facts she had assembled to try to convince me. And which she proceeded to unleash anyway, determined not to let an entire summer's day worth of parent-convincing research go to waste.

Sit down, shut up, and receive my knowledge.
I needed only two facts to win me over to her new pet:

1. She's fine with buying a guinea pig from Petco and not from some fancy small-rodent boutique breeding farm 60 miles out in the country.
2. She's going to pay for her pet and its miniature accoutrements herself.

I told PDaughter it will be her responsibility to make sure her guinea pig does not become a meal and/or chew toy for the dog or the two cats. And that she had better make sure she lines up enough chores to earn the money needed for its upkeep, or else I will make other arrangements for her pet.

Shut up, we've already covered the bad-mother issue.
Actually, I was little disappointed to learn that she's content to have only one guinea pig. I would have liked three.

For this, that's why.
But PDaughter only wants one. And she doesn't want a long-haired guinea pig, either. Again, disappointing.

Swiffer refills are expensive, after all.
But c'est la vie. In a few weeks she'll have saved up enough money to obtain and comfortably furnish one guinea pig. They are cute lil critters, you know.

Actual size: 13 feet long.
That's right, isn't it?
And they breathe fire?
And if things don't work out, I'm sure it can be chicken-fried.

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