Monday, March 30, 2015

The Journey of a Thousand Steps

I got this fortune cookie on Saturday.


And goddamn if it wasn't right for once.

I'm on the move, Drunkards. At long last.

When I bought the house I currently live in...in which I currently live...whatever...when I bought it, I thought it would be my family's home at least until Precocious Daughter went off to college.

She's not even through her freshman year of high school, and I'm getting ready to put it up for sale.

There's some sadness there, of course.

But more than the sadness, there's relief. And satisfaction. And that rush you feel when, after a long and stressful delay, there is forward motion once again.

I keep asking my spouse if he's good with this. Because he has a track of record of saying yes but showing no. Of brooding on his agreement and then rescinding it. Of smiling as we say good night, then cursing me out the next morning.

Yet he says this is the best thing. He says yes to making repairs (on my nickel, of course), to de-cluttering by renting a storage unit, to taking advantage of the hot housing market right now.

I will still do the legwork. I'll find the contractor and direct the necessary renovations. I'll engage the realtor. I'll make the decisions and take the risks.

One more time in our long history together, I'll do these things.

Because in the end, it will be the end.

Oh, and I'm paying for the divorce. Of course.

Have you ever seen the Tina Turner biopic What's Love Got to Do with It?

I couldn't find a clip online, but watch the courtroom scene, when Tina tells the judge that all she wants from Ike is her name.

That's me.

All I want when this is over is to be me.

The cookie says I've taken the first step.

Only 999 to go.

If you wanted to walk along with me, I'd like that. Really.

7 comments:

  1. One foot in front of the other, one at a time. Proud of you!

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  2. Change is hard....even when it is for the best...but it will be worth it in the end for everyone's sake. Walk proud with your head high!

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  3. Your boots are made for walking.

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  4. I wouldn't be surprised if 999 is the lucky number printed on the back of that fortune. And even if it's not it's still your lucky number. After all it's a single step from 1,000 to 999, and, as the saying reminds us, it all starts with that step.

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  5. We'll always be there, CB. In whatever way we can, we will be there.

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  6. Very happy for you. Also, (while we're discussing plans for the future), I saw this today and thought of you: https://www.bookworks.com/2015/03/self-e-positions-libraries-for-the-digital-age/

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    Replies
    1. That is really interesting, and something I'd be willing to explore. Thanks for thinking of me!

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You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.