Really? I'm the only one?
Anyway, at $450 a pop, I'm not expecting a huge pile of singerie canvases under my tree. The second item on my list is much more modestly priced, although I don't expect to get it, either, for a different reason. More on that in a moment.
The second item is a pair of hermit crabs.
|Like this, only, you know, two of them.|
|I always identified with the Once-ler.|
Defective Batch of Crabs = great band name.
I remember all my crabs fondly. There was Carson, and Reno, and Truckee, and Barstow, and Bakersfield, and Sedona, and Sonoma, and Hawthorne. They were great guys. Maybe some of them were girls, but I never did learn what hermit crab genitalia looked like and I wasn't about to look too closely. Pincers, you know. A couple of my crabs were really pinchy types. Did you know that if a hermit crab pinches the soft skin on your palm, and you yell and drop it on the floor, it won't get hurt? But it will remember how you treated it the next time you expose the soft skin of your palm to it.
|Um, yeah. Respect, dude.|
|I don't know the story behind this picture, |
but I'll bet it ended awesomely.
My last hermie went to crab heaven a few years ago, and I haven't had any since. That's because after it died, Beloved Spouse banned them from the house in perpetuity. He feels a certain animosity toward hermit crabs. Actually, he finds them horrifying and disgusting and can't stand being in the same room with them.
|It looks something like this, only less salty.|