I got to feeling slightly guilty about that. After all, the other four cars on the list are egregiously, offensively ugly. The Cube is just quirky and awkward and kind of tacky. It's like throwing a gawky adolescent in with a group of hardened criminals. For crimes against aesthetics, its goofy bubble-butt bumper just isn't in the same league as the Cadillac Escalade EXT's comprehensive lack of good taste.
|Lord, please smite this vehicle.|
This is the mood ring of cars. My feelings about it seem to vary depending on how I'm feeling that day.
|Maybe they should call it the Bipolar Express.|
Every time I see this thing on the street, I think, "What the hell is that thing?"
|It looks like a sandwich made of the square bread |
instead of the bread-shaped bread.
Toyota FJ Cruiser
This SUV-like creature isn't the ugliest vehicle I've ever seen, although it certainly won't win any beauty contests.
|You know, the longer I look at it, the less I like it.|
|Approximately 0.000000001% of owners will ever drive this thing in a desert.|
It's hard to see in the above picture, but the big black spare tire cover is emblazoned with a particularly ugly "FJ" logo. For some reason that repulses me. I hate it. Toyota would be better off putting a bandana-wearing hippie smiley face back there instead.
The final thing that puts the FJ Cruiser in the running is that no matter what color you buy, the roof is white. Which it makes it look like a giant rubber-toed kid's sneaker. With an annoying logo on the back.
OK, I think we have a winner.