Friday, September 1, 2017

Panic! At the Gas Pump

Check out this bullshit.

This is the general area where I live in the Dallas Metroplex.

You may have heard we're having a wee bit of a gas shortage.

Or, actually...we're having a wee bit of a problem with assholes panicking about an imagined shortage of totally not-scarce gasoline and making a run on the pumps and draining every tank in town.

Look at that graphic up there. The green spots have gas. The red are gas stations that HAVE. NO. GAS.

Because Hurricane Harvey caused supply disruptions that created shortages?


Because enough people in Dallas were selfish idiots who believed there might possibly be shortages and made a run on the pumps.

Descendants of the same morons who thought "War of the Worlds"
was an actual Martian invasion in 1938.

Here's what caused the well-publicized (and ongoing) "gas panic." 

1. Assholes who drive until their empty light comes on.

2. Assholes who think nothing matters except their personal well-being.

3. Assholes.

I filled up on Tuesday of this week. I was a little annoyed that the price of gas had spiked after Harvey made landfall, for no other reason than predatory greed. But OK.

A fill-up typically lasts me 7-8 days. Hey, my world is small. So when this bullshit gas panic started up on Thursday, I didn't worry. I'm good to go for another several days. I didn't rush to top off my tank, because this wasn't Black Monday, and I wasn't worried about freaking margin calls.

Apparently I was in the minority.

Every asshole in the city has let their asshole flag fly in the last 48 hours. Blocking traffic, being rude, hoarding gas (i.e., filling 10 fucking gas cans along with their tank).

Turns out there are a whole lot of people in this town I would punch in the head if I got within three feet of them.

If this bullshit is still going on in a few days when I actually need gas, I'm going to be PISSED OFF.

You may see me on the news.

Assholes are such assholes.

Hey, it's a three-day weekend, and if I run out of gas, I've got plenty of vacation time saved up.

I'll be back when the assholes put their human-suits back on.


  1. I usually only fill up every two weeks or so. The gas panic is hitting Houston right now, and it's all I can do to remind myself that I can go another week before I fill up again and don't need to add to the problem.

    The only advantage I've got down here is that 300,000 to 500,000 cars were damaged or destroyed in the past week, leaving far fewer vehicles to need to be filled.

  2. There must be a fundamental balance to the universe. While so many people in the flooded areas are being good, even great, it's inspired assholishness elsewhere.
    Although the irony is assholes usually release gas...

  3. At least the Labor Day weekend ended with most stations getting deliveries and the crisis ended without anybody donning football pads, metal hockey masks, and getting a predilection towards crossbows and V-8 Interceptors. Of course my 'scheduled' fuel up was Friday morning and my area was drained dry so I used my lawnmower gas to get to work and back until this 'grate crises of guzzoline' ended.


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