Wednesday, May 25, 2016


So as many of you know, my page admin Tabitha was recently eaten by wild pigs.

Wild pigs are totally punk rock, you guys.
I'm...OK, I'm not too sad about Tabitha's demise. She was a bitch. Our relationship was unhealthy. I'm trying really hard to shed myself of unhealthy relationships.

(Aside: I saw my almost-ex last night at our Precocious Daughter's Spring band concert. With one sentence he shattered my emotional equilibrium and sent me running for vodka, which I had in recent weeks quietly abandoned. Unhealthy relationships are hard to leave behind, you guys.)

Where was I? Oh, yes, my toxic, recently deceased page admin.

I've been looking for a replacement for Tabitha, because I'm a freaking train wreck and need someone to look after my social media presence, even if it's someone who hates my guts.

Self love is a thing. I'm working on it.

Anyway, I've unearthed three finalists for the position of page admin. I'd really appreciate your input into the final, successful candidate.

First, there's Kimi Fierce.

Kimi is smart and tough. She says she's an expert at "technomological stuff," so that gives her an edge, amiright? She drank a 64 oz. bubble tea while we interviewed and giggled every time she popped a tapioca bubble with her teeth. Also, she asked me if I was into "hentai and/or reptile porn." Is that a red flag? I don't know.

Second, we have Alfredo Mangliomongliotorre.

Big Al, as he likes to be called, says he invented MySpace and the Monongahela River, and I simply don't have time to vet these claims. I mean, he seems legit, but on the other hand, I have a thing about Italian-Americans and don't necessarily practice discernment or discretion when it comes to their attempts to woo me.

Finally, we have Anyatta Sorpresa-Jones. I like her, Drunkards.

She takes zero shit and told me she wouldn't put up with my "female white blogger complex." I don't know what that means, but I'm good with it. I think.On the other hand, she made several references to "fighting the power" during our initial interview. I don't know if I'm the power. I hope I'm not. But I'm not sure.

What do you think? Is one of these fine individuals my new page admin? Should I require a writing sampling before making my choice? Because I can do that if you think it's best.

Let me know.


  1. A sample of each admin's adminning would be eminently the right thing to do before making this administrative decision!

  2. Oh, yes, writing samples, please!!!!

  3. I'll add another vote for writing samples. Whomever you choose I hope you'll let the others know they're welcome to occasionally submit.
    Also I'd like to ask Kimi about "reptile porn". I know about Furries. Are there also "Scalies"?

    I'm asking for a friend.

  4. I don't even know what that is! I thought when you wrote about Tabitha she was made up. Color me embarrassed.


You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.