Tuesday, March 8, 2016

An Animated Discussion

A couple of weeks ago, you guys gave me absolutely amazing advice following this post..

In case you missed it (and don't feel like clicking on the link that's right up there), I was wondering whether I should discard my vintage clothing collection, my enormous fabric stash, or my hoard of childhood keepsakes in the name of saving space in my current small abode.

I got a lot of feedback, and some really great ideas. But here's the thing. None of you gave me the same advice. Not one.

You guys suck at consensus-building. I'm so proud of you all.

You win the Donald J. Trump Award
for Rugged Individualism.
Still, I can't just not make a decision. Gedde Lee said so.

"So then I said, 'If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice,'
and their freaking heads exploded, eh?"

Actually, I'm going to make you guys vote. Via animated GIF, which is the most democratic form of choosing anything in the history of everything. Just go with me on this.

I'm going to present my options, and you're going to vote by telling me your favorite image in the comments section. And then I will totally have to do what the majority decides, unless I can get the Supreme Court to rule the way I want it to turn out, which I believe it the core tenet of democracy.

I swear to God, is the closest thing I could find
to an animated image of Justice Clarence Thomas.

So pick your favorite GIF, and choose my destiny.

If you want me to pitch my vintage clothing, my fabric stash, and my keepsakes, vote for "Terribly Sad David Bowie."

If you want me to hold on to my keepsakes but get rid of my vintage threads and my fabric, vote for "Totally Gnarly Hairball."

If you think I should keep my precious mementos and my very useful fabric but give up on my dreams of ever fitting into my Twiggy-size vintage outfits again, fatty, vote for "Fitty and His Unusual Passenger."

If you think I should donate the fabric and the clothes and don't give a crap what I do with my sentimental gewgaws, vote for "Jack Thinks It's Funny."

If you think I should find some way to keep, store, and use the lot, vote for "Super Chill Capybara."

And finally, if you think I should do what my heart decides instead of relying on the opinions of people on the Internet (no matter how charming, intelligent, and wonderful they may be), then vote for "Little Monkey in a Green Snowsuit Hopping with Joy OMG."

Vote your conscience, Drunkards. And remember: Vote early and vote often. That's how we get the decisions we deserve.

P.S. Not a voting option, but here's a bonus "Donald Trump and His Closest Adviser" GIF for you.


  1. Well, TGrumpY gets my vote, but in the choices you actually give us, I'll go for Bowie.

    If you really want to know what I think, though, just ignore us all and do what you want to. Monkey on.

  2. That monkey is trying to tell you something.

  3. That monkey is trying to tell you something.

  4. I'm not gonna lie to you. I just looked at the pictures and am a bit disappointed that Gedde Lee wasn't an option. I'm voting for "Fitty and His Unusual Passenger" even if it completely contradicts what I said previously.

  5. Fitty for the win. I'd give Patrick Stewart a ride any day.


You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.