Friday, February 20, 2015

Talking Marriage Equality, Starring Nutty People

Kory Watkins, not content to be the hilariously inept poster man-child for open carry of handguns in Texas, instead wants to be the hilariously inept poster man-child for all sorts of libertarian hijinks.

Like protecting the Constitution with rap.
KoKo is a member of NORML, because he opposes outdated government prohibitions on the possession and use of marijuana for medical and recreational purposes. And also really likes to smoke weed. The DFW chapter of NORML held a rally in Austin earlier this week (and you should click on the link, because the writer of the headline deserves a great big prize for awesomeness), and Kory was there. Which you would know if you follow his Facebook page, but not if you read the article I linked to.

I suspect Shaun McAlister, who organized the rally, slipped the reporter a rather large baggie of sticky bud to please, please, PLEASE leave Kory's name out of the article. Because his last few trips to Austin have demonstrated an uncanny grasp of self-promotion over, you know, lucidity.

Good on NORML for recognizing that having KoKo on your side is like having an orangutan riding shotgun: Lots of great photo ops, but you're equally likely to have your face ripped off.

Clint Eastwood (R-Empty Chair) grossly misled us.
And now Kory Watkins has weighed in on the subject of gay marriage.

Get your popcorn.

Getting pretty tired of the Michael Jackson
meme, you know?
This week Texas issued its first same-sex marriage license. Kind of. It's a pretty convoluted story (read about it here), but the upshot is that Republican heads are exploding because one white dude outsmarted another white dude to make it happen.

Well, KoKo, ever the champion of small government and individual rights, took to his Facebook page and posted this:

And actually, yeah, if you're going to be a libertarian, this is exactly what you should think about the whole issue. Good on you, Kory Watkins.

But while KoKo may believe he's the ideological leader of a throng of like-minded souls who follow his teachings as if he were Christ in a trilby, the reality is that most gun nuts (not gun owners, per se, but extremist wingnuts) could care less about ideology. They are for the most part narrow-minded reactionaries who don't want anybody pointing out that violent misandry is not protected by any part of the Constitution.

I know, them's big words. Try not to shoot the dictionary
as you look them up.
To his credit, KoKo understands that open carry of firearms is one small issue in a larger value system that abhors intrusive government. What he doesn't understand is that such nuances are lost on many of the illiterate rednecks who follow him on Facebook.

To cut to the chase: A lot of gun nuts don't like teh gays.

Oh, some of them try to deflect.

And some of them, er, I think try to be supportive in their syntactically challenged way.

(By the way, I'm not sure what "publice" are, but may I suggest you patronize a higher class of tavern if these are a problem?)

Apparently this gentleman believes that being gay should be a religion, and also that the Second Amendment somehow explains this.

But at least he gets that gay couples are not out to loot and pillage your land.

Uh-oh, someone's been listening to anti-gay talking points!

And someone's been listening to anti-gay talking points AND reading lots of Ayn Rand. Possibly while taking lots of drugs! (tl;dr: Them faggots is destroying America.)

I'd like to suggest that this lady move out of her current neighborhood, because the North American Man-Boy Love Association is not considered "mainstream" where I hang out. Just sayin.

Also, if she thinks every TV show has homosexuals, someone should tell her that there actually are other channels besides LOGO.

Remember, this started out as Kory Watkins' statement that the government shouldn't be in the business of denying same-sex marriages.


And we've reached Godwin's Law. I think we're done here.

OK, just one more.

This is America, Sergio. Everybody has the ability to succeed. But I think perhaps you meant "secede," in which case, secessionary movements in our nation's history historically have failed as the result of a majority desire in those states to preserve the union.


In short, America: Where everyone has the right to express his or opinion, and I have the right to make fun of your atrocious grasp of the English language.

Thanks as always to Kory Watkins for being an endless inspiration to this blog.


  1. I don't know whether to be in awe of your ability to sit through all of that or of your effort in screenshotting it for our edification. Also, I think a little more edumachashun might be advisable in Exceptionalistan.

  2. I'm tempted to go to Facebook and chime in with my belief that guys who are threatened by same-sex marriage are really afraid their boyfriends are going to pressure them to leave their wives. But kicking anthills has never been fun for me, and if I want to read atrocious grammar I'll pick up an Amos Tutuola novel.


You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.