Potential Book Stuff

Recently in this space I committed to writing a book because I'm insane and possibly don't understand what the word commitment means.

I have a five-year car loan; that's commitment, right?

Probably I should actually do something toward that commitment (Miss Othmar, your request to see the first chapter made me laugh, though). Because first, how great to actually follow through on a commitment? Also, I totally want to write a book, and I'm not going to let the fact that I screwed the pooch by promising to write a book keep me from writing a book.

Got that?

To date, I haven't written squat, other than the blog posts that I'm absolutely going to harvest for book material. That's going to change very soon - because my God, the guilt - but until then, here are some random crazy topics that may or may not make it into the final draft.

Feedback, upvotes, and other ideas are completely welcome. I'll include you in the acknowledgements if I use them, but no way will I share the sweet (possibly in the tens of dollars) royalty checks with you. This is a legally binding statement, yo.

Overruled, beyotch.

Here's A List I Call Book Content Ideas

I Have a Complicated Relationship with Food

My Grandma Got Way Less Out of Our Relationship Than I Did

There Are Right and Wrong Ways to Use Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup (A User's Guide)

All Cheese Should Be Spreadable

I Used to Hide Pepperidge Farm Layer Cakes Under My Bed

Emotional Extremes Melt Fat

I Wish Coffee Were a Vegetable

Cats Are Damn Lucky We Don't Consider Them a Food Group

Onions Are Evil

Food Is Not Love, Or Is That Simply Bullshit?

Mmmm...Donuts

Diet Tips from Someone Who Knows Nothing About Successfully Dieting

All You Need Is Vodka (This Is Not Medical Advice)

Why Are You Still Reading This?

Aspirational American Sociology in The Great Gatsby (lol jk)

*****

It's a start. Shall I publish the first chapter here once I've written it? Let me know. I'm easy.

Also hungry. What the hell?