Monday, January 5, 2015

Mom Jokes For The Win

I made Precocious Daughter laugh twice today.

That gets the Victory Squirrel Dance Pose.
Making your kid laugh is easy-peasy when she's, say, three. Or seven. Or even 12. Try to make a teenager laugh, and you're in "squeeze-another-sequel-out-of-Alien" mode. Difficult, awkward, and embarrassing for all.

So when I scored not just a laugh, but a sincere laugh, off PDaughter for two completely off-the-cuff jokes, I felt pretty damn justifiably pleased with myself. So much so that I thought I'd share them.

Disclaimer: You guys know I love stupid jokes. There's nothing wrong with stupid jokes if they're stupid and funny. Why do you think "Family Guy" is still on the air?

Actually, I have no idea why "Family Guy" is still on the air. Bad example.

Why is his chin a scrotum? WHY?
Joke No. 1:

What's green and stands on one leg?
A phlegmingo!

Joke No. 2:

What do you call the star of BBC's "Sherlock" after a minor car accident?
Been in a fender-bender!


Yeah, well, my kid thought they were funny, and so did I. So we'll just be over giggling while you chuckle politely at the sophisticated wit of Noel Coward or some goddamn thing.

But really. Go find a teenager and lay these on him/her. You'll thank me when your cred goes crazy high. Yo.


  1. I totally don't get your joke number two, I'm afraid. Unless it's an anti-joke.

  2. Those are so corny that they're funny! I adore them! My teen will love the phlegmingo joke, but has no idea who your crush is, so that one would be over her head. Which is kind of sad. I feel like I'm failing as a parent now...


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