Sunday, August 10, 2014

Party Post-Mortem (Spoiler: I Didn't Actually Die)

You may remember that back in June my pals BekAndChrisS invited me to a party. And I reacted with my usual glee at the thought of socializing.

Tone it down, Grumpy Cat.
Actually, I came up with a detailed list of all the reasons I wasn't going to be able to attend. My reasons were, to a one, unreasonable, exaggerated, and childish, and I was fully prepared to invoke any or all of them as required.

Then ChrisS did something truly diabolical. He issued a separate invitation to Precocious Daughter, and of course she wanted to go. She loves a party. That nonsense did not come from my side of the family.

I come from a long line of hermits.
So last night, we went to a party. There were a lot of people I knew. There were a lot of people I didn't know. But bottom line, there were a lot of people. And although I enjoyed myself, I fairly soon was exhausted and overwhelmed. So I told PDaughter I would be back later to pick her up, and I went home.

I've never once not gone back for her, eventually.
When I did go back, a couple of hours later, the crowd had thinned out considerably, the noise level was lower, and thank God someone had brought out the vodka. And instead of just ducking my head in and grabbing my kid, PDaughter and I ended up hanging around for a while.

It was a lot of fun.

There, I said it.

Are you happy now?

So, because I made a list of all the reasons I wasn't going to attend, now I've made a list of all the reasons I'm glad I went. Because I'm cool that way. HAHAHAHAHA, I said I was cool. Whatever. Here's the list.

  • I fortuitously wore my favorite Kermit the Frog shirt. Turns out Kermit is a great icebreaker and keeps people from looking at my face or asking questions about me. So that worked out OK.
  • I ate a lot of interesting bacon-based foods, many of which I would happily try again without so much bacon.
  • I got to see the scene in Sharknado 2 where Wil Wheaton gets sucked out of the airplane. Which, really, is the one scene in the movie that stands up to repeated viewings.

  • I discovered that mixing apple juice, brown sugar, and bacon grease creates a delicious glaze that from now on I'll be pouring on everything, including breakfast cereal, potato chips, and my computer keyboard.
  • I finally got to meet faithful Drunkard Smee! She's twice as fabulous as I could have hoped for. And I got a ride in her brand-new car, which, like her, is practical, economical, and damn cute.

  • Also, I got to meet Jesus, who totally was actually Jesus and not just some random dude named Jesus, because he told me so. And because he has his own theme song.

  • And an honest-to-Jesus artist drew this picture and then signed it for me:

Imma frame it in a tiny, Post-It-Note-sized frame.

  • I'm not sure how this happened, but until last night, I'd never had orange-flavored vodka. It tastes almost exactly like orange soda. Which could be dangerous. It's probably a damn good thing they don't color that shit orange, or I'd be drinking it out of the bottle with a straw.

  • I finally got to see BekAndChrisS's house. It's exactly the same floorplan as my house, except theirs has a TARDIS where the pantry should be. I am not making this up.

  • I lived through it.

Aside to Riley's Mom: I know I bailed on your get-together the previous evening. Two parties in one weekend literally would have caused an alien being to burst forth from my chest. And yours was across town. That's what you get for moving. *Hugz*


  1. No worries. Mine was more "stand around at a bar and drink" than party. And we all left by 11:00, because apparently we are getting old.

    P.S. It is highly possible I will be back in your part of town within a year. Then your lame excuse can no longer include "distance." ;-)


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