Here's What I Ate Today

Top this, people. IF YOU CAN.

Today, I ate (and drank):

• Pistachios
• Miniature pretzel rods
• A frozen Smart Ones cheese pizza (that was really terrible)
• Two Taco Bueno bean burritos
• A Coke Zero
• Vodka Vodka Vodka

Looking over this list, I see that I didn't eat any fruits or vegetables today. Or dairy. Or whole grains.

I'm going to die.

On the other hand, I might get to rock
the muumuu.

I don't eat this badly every day, mind you. Yesterday I had a yummy spinach salad. And there's a package of fresh strawberries in my fridge just waiting to be eaten.

But this is what I ate/drank today.

Shut up.

I have so much reason to be healthy. I'm on that shit. Truly.