Saturday, May 3, 2014

The Hagfish, Part 1

Beloved Drunkard Bill the Butcher has requested that I write about the hagfish.

Bill's a dentist in a developing nation and a political cartoonist.
We're practically twins.
Since I would cross the highest desert and swim the widest mountain for Bill, I conducted some of the meticulous research that is the hallmark of this blog.

Monkeys is smarts. Got it.
Here's what I found out: Hagfish are disgusting.

Jesus fucking Christ on a flaming sidecar.
I'm deeply disturbed.

Deeply, deeply disturbed.

I should have known Bill would be interested in something with rows of horrifying teeth.

I need to take a break. I'll write more about the hagfish later.

Damn, Bill.


  1. The slime. Don't forget the slime!

  2. For me the most interesting thing about hagfish is that they're close relatives of lampreys, which are considered a delicacy in Britain. That tells you pretty much all you need to know about British cuisine.

    Also I had no idea that as a boy Bill would shoot puppies, poison guppies, and brutally murder kittens. Hey Bill, have you met my friend Seymour?


You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.