Saturday, May 3, 2014

The Hagfish, Part 1

Beloved Drunkard Bill the Butcher has requested that I write about the hagfish.

Bill's a dentist in a developing nation and a political cartoonist.
We're practically twins.
Since I would cross the highest desert and swim the widest mountain for Bill, I conducted some of the meticulous research that is the hallmark of this blog.

Monkeys is smarts. Got it.
Here's what I found out: Hagfish are disgusting.

Jesus fucking Christ on a flaming sidecar.
I'm deeply disturbed.

Deeply, deeply disturbed.

I should have known Bill would be interested in something with rows of horrifying teeth.

I need to take a break. I'll write more about the hagfish later.



Damn, Bill.
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2 comments:

  1. Bill the ButcherMay 4, 2014 at 2:37 AM

    The slime. Don't forget the slime!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ChristopherMay 5, 2014 at 7:56 AM

    For me the most interesting thing about hagfish is that they're close relatives of lampreys, which are considered a delicacy in Britain. That tells you pretty much all you need to know about British cuisine.

    Also I had no idea that as a boy Bill would shoot puppies, poison guppies, and brutally murder kittens. Hey Bill, have you met my friend Seymour?

    ReplyDelete

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