Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Maybe I Can Get a Good Deal on a Nuclear-Powered De Lorean

Last week my beautiful VW Beetle got hit by a stupid-ass kid whose eyes were glued to his phone while driving.

Turns out a low-speed impact with no attempt to brake can cause a shitload of damage.

Forever grateful to BekS for this laugh when I needed it.
 The kid and his insurance company are being dicks. It was just this morning - six days after the accident - that I was able to get my car to the body shop, and with any luck I'll finally have a rental car tomorrow morning.

At this moment I have no idea if the Bug will be deemed fixable, or simply cashed out. Does replacing two front fenders, a bumper, a grille, and two headlights cost more than a 12-year-old Beetle is worth? I mean, he's priceless to me, but insurance companies are notoriously heartless.

MY insurance company is awesome.
But everyone else's? This.
Worst case scenario, I'll need a new car very soon. And by "new," I almost certainly don't mean new. That's not really in the ol' budget right now, unless I want to make some major life changes that involve not making the major life changes I've already got in the works.

How's that for a love triangle?
So I'm pondering what kind of car I might want to get if that becomes necessary. There are some obvious used-car choices:

But these may not be the most practical.

What kind of car do you look for when your criteria include the following:

NOT a minivan
NOT a Honda
Preferably laser-equipped
Good cargo capacity (2+ adult-size bodies)
Functional glove compartment
Headlights point correct direction
Mechanically sound, clean, cheap

Gull-wing doors totally optional.
I'm not picky.
I mean, what do you think, Drunkards? Suggestions are welcome. Just keep them realistic.

The National Corvette Museum may have a few deals.
I'll let you know what happens with the body shop. You let me know if you have any brainstorms on how to purchase a high-quality, low-mileage car for, say, 800 bucks. Kthx.


  1. How about using, you know, public transport? I mean, people in most of the world don't own personal vehicles, and most of 'em get along fine.

  2. This guy clearly doesn't live where public transportation sucks and isn't practical for day-to-day use. Hang in there, Chuck!

  3. Yeah,Bill...this area isn't public transportation friendly. We are getting our rental today too...very slow process!

    I say get a fun Jeep!

  4. I hope they can fix your bug! I loathe car shopping. Here's hoping you find a car that shoots rainbows out it's ass without breaking the bank!

  5. Most days I use public transport--known in these parts as "the bus". I'm lucky to live in a neighborhood where the nearest bus stop is only a little more than a mile from my house. When I need to buy food or, well, anything else, or when I have to be somewhere at a specific time or go to one of the many places that ain't anywhere near a bus route I drive, because it's my only option.

    I wish I could offer a car suggestion, but I just hope they fix the Bug. And I hope you've given it a funny nickname.


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