Here's the first thing: The blog has a new logo! See how it now features a completely idealized illustration of your humble scribe. I am female, and I do have, uh, hair. Beyond that I make no guarantees of authenticity. But I think the avatar-me is cute as a button, and if I want to pretend I look like that in real life, only a hundred times more fabulous, then that's my trip down the Crazy River. You may ride along if you please. Please don't drink the water.
Here's the second thing: I have a message for the woman in my office building who regularly holds loud cell-phone conversations while using the toilet in the public ladies' room.
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Bitch, what is wrong with you?? No one wants to hear your inane conversation or your braying laugh echoing off the damn tiles while we're trying to do our business. And whoever is unlucky enough to be on the other end of that phone does not want to hear you puncuating your obnoxious jibber-jabber with grunts every time you open the bomb-bay doors while you're talking to them. And I sure as hell don't want them hearing my tinkle in the next stall. It's just not their business. I know you're not saying anything that couldn't wait until you wiped yourself and got out of there, so knock it off. The next time I walk in that restroom and you're sitting in the host's chair interviewing your guests, I'm going to pretend I'm having explosive diarrhea and loudly beg you to pass some toilet paper under the wall. Then I'm going to start singing show tunes.
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Have a wonderful day, readers! Let me know if you like my new banner! BTW, the new picture is on my Facebook page, too, so go check it out!
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You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.