Breaking News!!!!!!!!! <-- (Multiple Exclamation Points=Important)

Rep. Anthony Weiner is scheduled to hold a press conference at 2 p.m. EDT, during which he's expected to announce his resignation from Congress.

You know what that means?

IT MEANS YOU'VE GOT TO GET YOUR WEINER NOW!!

As I just now wrote about, Herobuilders is selling an anatomically correct Anthony Weiner action figure, and now it looks as if that sucker is about to go collector's item!

Get it now! Watch the press conference! Tweet inappropriate pictures of yourself at your company gym! DON'T PANIC!

I'll be back with typically reasoned and insightful commentary after Rep. Checkmeout's big announcement.