Friday, May 2, 2014

Tabitha Takes on Courage

well, good evening, people. it's me, tabby.

dafuq are you looking at? lol
i've been, like, so busy since the last time i posted on this pathetic little blog. that was way back during the olympics in sochi, russia. i boinked vlady putin and told him to invade the crap out of ukraine. i didn't think he'd actually do it, y'all, i was just seeing how deep i had his balls, you know? what a moron, he actually did it.

so i guess, like, they're protesting for better teeth and
maybe a better color palette, or some damn thing.
i got bored of vlady real quick, because he looks like a cabbage patch kid only with a smaller dick. so i decided to do other stuff before heading back to the u s of fucking a.

most of it i can't repeat here.

me, pope francis, and a goat. that's all i can say.
also, i may have told the leader of uganda that i was sick of the gay guys having all the fun. maybe. i don't even know how i got to uganda. i blame jeb bush. dude is sick.

actual jeb bush quote: "alls I'm sayin is that if you smack 'em
open-handed like this, bitches be stayin in line."
 any-gosh-darn-way. i'm in america now, and i'm like super-glad to be here. at least the crazies here speak english, the way god intended.

and you may be asking, what the frig does any of this have to do with courage, per the goddamn title?

well, i'll tell you.

first: do you find this sexy? sick bastard.
but courage. chuck baudelaire has none. that's what i'm trying to tell you people. not enough courage to confront the fact that she's been (or is being) replaced right now. not enough to wear team colors even if they're totally the underdog. courage, bitches.

imma tell you all a story, chuck was supposed to spend tonight with her precious fucking drummer boy. but she didn't. do you know why?

hint: she's a fucking weeny loser.

i tried to mke it easy on her. i said, let me take care of the miscellaneous bastards, let me inform your corporate office that you said "fucky you times a million," let me be happy and helpful.

But no. that's not chuck.

chuck. lol.
she could have said screw you, imma see my lover tonight. instead she said, ok imma stay home because i'm scared. bitch.

that's why she's in bed crying and i'm here. because i get off on people not getting their heart's desire.


special message to beks and smee: chuck's not coming tomorrow, because she's a whiny crybaby.

also, confidential to drummer boy: she will give up as easily as she gave up tonight, every fucking night.

courage. you gotta have it  to get along in this world. some got it. some don't.

i got it. go to hell if you don't like it.

stick it up your ass. he did.
one of these days, chuck might go away forever. and i'll be in charge. and i could do it, too. because i have courage and she has tits-all.

imma DM her boyfriend now. because i can.


holla, y'all.

1 comment:

  1. I thought I speaka da English fairly horosho till I read thees blog, though it be Fremdsprache für mich. Now I not be sure potomu chto I nicht understand one word of what eet say at the end. Uberhaupt!


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