Saturday, July 22, 2017

Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge...Nothing.

So I just had the most adorable conversation ever with Drummer Boy.

When he's not drumming, he works in a retail environment. So he meets a lot of...interesting people.

He frequently tells me stories about his customers, both good and bad. But just now he said something that made me ask:

"Do female customers ever flirt with you?"

His response was negative. Not just negative, but completely guileless.

It was cute.

But I wasn't buying it for a minute. I pressed him:

"Have you ever had a woman engage you in conversation, completely innocuous, but she looked you straight in the eye the whole time?"

DB: Um, yes.

Me: That's called flirting. I've done it many times.

DB: ...

Me: ...

DB: Really?

Me: Yes, darling. Those women were flirting with you.

And, you guys, I watched at least 20 years of realization dawn on him as he remembered all the times he didn't realize women were coming on to him.

Me: Hello?

DB: WOW...

Me: Does this change anything?

DB: ...


Me: *Kisses him*

You guys.

My sweetheart, who is hot as a pistol honestly (I have no frickin' idea why he wants to be with a middle-aged nothing like me), has missed dozens, if not hundreds, of opportunities to hook up with interested women because he actually didn't recognize flirting.

I love him so much.

If you see him, please don't flirt with him. Because he knows what that is now.

Is your partner completely naive in some way that surprises you? Let me know.


  1. I'm pretty oblivious to that sort of thing, I've been told. People are fine by me so long as they don't stand too close. I need my personal space.

  2. I'll let you in on a secret: Drummer Boy doesn't notice the flirting because he's not looking. He's happy where he is.
    For some reason this reminds me of the time I was talking to a woman and asked if she wanted to go get a cup of coffee. She quickly explained that she wasn't interested in me--or guys in general. I explained that I'd gotten that feeling, but that, contrary to what George Costanza says, sometimes "coffee" really just means coffee.
    We were both pretty oblivious.


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