Sunday, May 7, 2017

10 Things I (Now) Know About Prom

Prom 2017 has come and gone.

There were no casualties.

If you know me or have found me on my IRL Facebook page, you've seen the photos of Precocious Daughter and Precocious Boyfriend from last night. Between me and PBoyfriend's parents, we took roughly 30,000 photos of the kiddos before they left for the shindig. We marched them to the sweet little gazebo in the town square for the photo op and snapped away until their eyes were literally rolling back into their skulls.

That's the sign of great parenting, by the way.

I've never seen my child smile so radiantly.

I've never been happier that we are the same shoe size, because the shoes she chose are abso-frickin-lutely adorable. I can't imagine when I'll have the occasion to wear sparkly, strappy sandals with clear acrylic kitten heels(!!!). But if necessary I will wear them to Target. For real.

Lessons learned from my first prom-mom experience:

1. Everything will be fine.

2. Growing out a short haircut does not make for optimal styling options. But hold your tongue and step back, and the kid will come up with something amazing.

3. Do not show signs of stress. This is super-hard when your child begins to fret about literally everything. But stay upbeat, because...

4. Everything will be fine.

5. Prom night is not the best time to try liquid eyeliner for the first time. (Fortunately, I use a pencil, so crisis averted.)

6. Whatever you spend on the dress, the shoes, the makeup, the's all worth it. And that includes both the expensive formal-shop dress and the $10 Target clutch.

7. In the grand scheme of things, prom is not that important. But on Prom Night, it's totally not about the grand scheme of things. It's about a few precious moments of joy and pride and glamour.

8. Your child will show their disappointment that you are not an expert stylist, photographer, or (let's face it) parent. It won't matter once they step into the venue.

9. There is nothing wrong with being a not-religious person and praying that the kids come home safely.

10. And...everything will be fine.

Check junior prom off the list.

I got this.


  1. Congratulations on a job well done!

    I didn't go to my prom/dances/whatever when I was in school but if I had, my mother would have been worried, and probably with real reason. We were terrible. Sounds like you've done things the right way.

  2. So I assume everything turned out fine, in spite of having to clean up some guinea pig poop.


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