Thursday, April 27, 2017

Confession, or Lover's Lament

I'm going to make an informed guess that, among my 15 or so readers, at least a couple of you have experienced being in a relationship with a musician.

Always assuming that either Edie Brickell or Paul Simon
is a loyal Drunkard. Right?

Musicians are amazing, you know? They're talented, they're sensitive (at least when they're playing), they're perpetually interesting.

And the love of their life is...their music.

I get it. Really. Because I'm a writer.

Hard cold truth: Loving a musician means - at best - sharing his/her heart with music.

If you love a musician, the best you can hope for is a polyamorous relationship. You will never be their only love. Their first love? PAFF. Musicians will never put you first. No matter how much they love you, they cannot ever put you first. Music is always #1.

If you can accept that, you can share a piece of their heart. Which is a beautiful thing. Maybe the most beautiful thing you'll ever know.

But you will not - cannot - command their devotion. They can't hear you over the constant cacophony in their head.

Don't even try shouting. Trust me.

Love yourself before even attempting to love a musician. It's your only - only - shot at survival.

I'm in love with a musician. But I have no intention of sacrificing my soul to the capricious winds of his attention.

I am myself. No matter what.

I believe that he and I will meet halfway in our respective arts.

It's the only way I can love him.

If I'm wrong, I still have my soul.

How many of you can say that?


  1. Oh, honey... I actually do know what it means to give your heart to a musician. That lasted for about 4 years before I gave up. Granted, I was young, dumb, and full of ... well, something that rhymes with dumb.
    I was also just starting a journey into motherhood and didn't know myself as well as I do now, so I couldn't handle it.

    You're lucky to have found the love that you did, but even more, he's lucky as hell to have found you! You're a once in a lifetime gal, for sure, and hopefully he realizes that! (Hell, he's still here, so I'm sure he does!)
    All the love and hugs to both of you and Pdaughter. Y'all are my far away fantasy family. <3

  2. It's a good thing the two of you have found each other at a point in your lives when you're mature enough to accept each others' differences.
    Naturally I assume that, while I know music will always be his first love, he's mature enough to accept you as you are. Otherwise he wouldn't be with you.


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