Saturday, November 14, 2015

Love Among the Fat

I am overweight.

I'm probably 20 pounds from being considered "normal" for my height and build, and almost 30 pounds from being what I consider my fighting weight.

The plain fact is,when I'm happiest I'm lightest, and when I'm miserable I'm heaviest.

Oh wait. There was that time I was miserable - I was working full-time, taking care of an infant, and was completely at the service of a semi-invalid spouse following a (botched) surgery - and got down to a size 2/4.

So apparently my weight fluctuates with any emotional extreme.

After all, I've lost one dress size since moving into my own place. When the divorce is final, this likely will increase.

I hope.

Google says this means hope. OK, Google.

But the thing is, Drummer Boy doesn't seem to care.

He loves me as I am.

I have little to no experience with being loved as I am. From my father to my almost-ex-husband, I'm used to being loved in accordance with how greatly I please someone.

It's been tough.

Yet Drummer Boy, for some reason, loves me warts and all, whether I'm being good or bad.

I feel so unworthy of his love. Yet I depend on it, every waking moment of my life, to get me through my current trials.

Thank you, Drummer Boy, for loving me as much as I love you.

Nah. You can't possibly love me as much as I love you. My love for you is endless and all-abiding.

By the way, Drunkards...I love all of you. No matter your flaws or your weaknesses. I've got your back. Thanks for having mine. <3 p="">


  1. You're beautiful fat, thin, sleepy, awake, angry, happy, whatevs. You're simply a lovely person.

  2. Back at you, Smee. We're both awesome, right?

  3. I've lost weight since I was dumped, but then that also means I can finally wear pants I thought I would never wear again.

  4. Like age, number of sexual partners, etc., weight is just a number (mine are unlisted). Love yourself and you'll be stunned at how many people love you.

  5. Are you happy? Are you healthy? If you can say yes to both of those that's what matters.The only thing better than having someone else who loves you just as you are is loving yourself just as you are.

    And you should.

  6. I have a specific weight at which I'm comfortable. If I lose or gain much beyond that, I just don't feel very well.


You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.