Monday, August 24, 2015

State of Me, By Request

Lovely Drunkard Miss Othmar wants to know how I'm doing.

We thank you, child.
I'm doing pretty craptastic, actually. My realtor significantly overpriced my house, so I'm not getting offers. I can't afford to pay a mortgage and rent on an apartment, so pretty soon my house will be in default, because I will NOT lose my apartment.

Today I did the math, and figured that if I am VERY frugal, I can afford to pay rent and mortgage until the end of September. After that, screw it, the house can  catch on fire, fall over, and sink into the swamp for all I care.

And be the strongest castle in England, yo.
I don't want to write about this because, you know, I like to produce a happy product sometimes. Also, I get tired of complaining all the damn time. Why you all haven't ditched me for the Kardashians, I have no idea.

Guys, my computer refused to recognize this image.
My spouse and my gay realtor are conspiring against me. They both live in a fantasy world where my old, crappy, not-updated house should sell at a ridiculous price. My solution is to stop paying the mortgage, and they'll soon find out what the house is actually worth when nobody is making payments on it.

I'll be the bad guy, of course. But it just might be worth it.

Anyway, I need to get to bed. I can't have one of the horrendous nightmares that have been plaguing me if I don't get to sleep, after all. So good night, Drunkards.

Thanks for asking how I'm doing.


  1. I think this calls for a bake sale. I know it all seems bleak right now, but it's going to work out.

  2. I would imagine/assume that if your realtor sees the possibility of not getting a commission looming on the horizon, he'll be open to dropping the price.

    Realtors don't make anything at foreclosure sales, after all.

    Good luck.

  3. Laurel and/or Katy have the right idea. What are the comps? You need to be in the same ballpark as those, or you won't get offers.

  4. Sometimes you have to be cast as the bad guy. It's not right, it's not fair, and in the end it won't matter because those who are calling you the bad guy don't really matter. The ones who matter are the ones who don't see you as the bad guy but the one who got shit done.

  5. For some reason my update list did not show this post until I came to your site just see how you were doing. Your recent death-obsessed writing hasn't exactly made my mind tranquil about you.

    Let the house go if you must. Your future isn't in it.

  6. Everyone else said it all and said it better. But I want you to know I'm Team Chuck all the way!


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