I Breathed. It Got Better. Lesson: Breathe.

So I had some kind of psychotic break last night.

In the future we'll have a much more enlightened attitude
toward such things, I'm sure.

Long story short: Precocious Daughter does not want to live with her dad instead of me. She never said she did; that was the voices in my head doing a really good PDaughter impression. Or maybe not so good, but under the influence of stress, exhaustion, and vodka, I was easily taken in.

Sorry to freak you out. Thanks as always for having my back and being generous with kind words and good thoughts. We are all fine here.

If you're on my Facebook page*, you know that I also got hit in the head with a door last night.

It was an awesome night, you guys.

I have a lingering headache, but I don't think I was beaned hard enough to be concussed. The important thing is that my spouse was able to repair the door. Seriously, it is. What I do not need right now is anything that will delay listing and showing my house, such as a fallen door with a headprint on it.

At this point the door and I are calling it a draw.

Believe it or not, between the drama and the head injuries, this was actually a fantastically productive weekend. PDaughter and I got our bedrooms cleaned out and ready to show. We moved furniture, we cleaned carpets, we installed new blinds on the windows, we scrubbed baseboards and swept away cobwebs.

I'm freaking exhausted.

Not as cute, but definitely as tired.

We rented a carpet cleaner! I've never done that before. In the past I've always a) hired a carpet cleaning service or b) let the carpets stay dirty. But today PDaughter and I headed to Home Depot and rented a Rug Doctor Pro carpet-cleaning machine thingy.

Does anyone else remember this jingle, or am I just old?

Two important facts about carpet-cleaning machines:

1) It is incredibly satisfying to watch ages of accumulated filth being sucked out of your carpets, and to actually smell and feel the new cleanliness of said carpets when you're done.

2) Holy crap, every muscle in your body will ache when you're done hauling this thing across your floors for an hour.

Since we still had some time left on the rental, I decided to clean a couple of area rugs, as well. I did this on our back patio, where it was about 98 degrees today. When I was done I had almost-heatstroke to go with my almost-concussion and definite-B.O. Plus a couple of sparkly-clean area rugs.

So to recap:

• PDaughter and I will be living together.

• Our house will be listed in a matter of days.

• Carpet shampoo smells like a spring garden and/or unicorn farts.

• I'm not allowed to touch the doors to the laundry until the house sells.

And I love my readers.


*Like Christopher Waldrop, who finally liked me on FB this week! Squeeeeeee!