Sunday, June 28, 2015

House Rules

Hi, Drunkards! I love you all and thank you for reading my little old blog!

You'll get used to my ambivalent attitude toward Internet fame eventually.
I do have some new followers here, so I thought I'd briefly explain the house rules for this blog, both for the benefit of new readers and to remind faithful fans that they're crazy for keeping up with me.

I want you all to enjoy reading my humble words as much as I enjoy writing them. Which is approximately a shit ton, give or take a bunch. And I don't want anybody to get offended, or affronted, or bent out of shape by anything you may read here. Not that I care if you do, per se, but I'd like to avoid having to kiss your hurt butt if I can.

Therefore, I present:

Chuck Baudelaire's House Rules for This Here Blog

  • I write about whatever I feel like writing about. Sometimes it's monkeys, sometimes it's my unraveling marriage, sometimes it's crazy-ass right-wing nutjobs. Oooh, sometimes it's completely random crap that tickled me at a particular moment. I hope my scribblings amuse you, but if they don't, it's best you leave.
  • I don't like to be pigeonholed. Typically, liberals think I'm too conservative, and conservatives think I'm too liberal. I don't support Hillary Clinton, I don't like guns, I believe government at every level is probably too big and convoluted, and I think any attempt to legislate a woman's reproductive choices is repulsive. 
  • Although I believe in God, I don't identify as Christian. I am friends with many devout Christians. As long as they don't talk smack about gay people or abortion, I respect them completely.
  • I like vodka. A lot. I'm pretty sure that once I'm divorced I will cut back my alcohol consumption by 90% of more. In the meantime, I'm guessing you'll be able to identify what I wrote while drunk.
  • Benedict Cumberbatch makes me happy. Because he's handsome and talented and a good person, and because his name is Benedict Cumberbatch and he owns that shit.
  • Sometimes I curse. I won't stop.
  • I'm 47 years old. If you think I'm an old lady with nothing relevant to say...fuck you.

There are probably more rules. But you get the gist. Also, I welcome your comments. Please comment on this or any other post. Really. I love engagement. Just remember it goes both ways.

I love you already.


  1. Good set of rules to live by. Welcome, noobs!

  2. I can live with all those rules.

    Also I will not eat salsa on your couch. That's an unspoken rule almost everywhere, but the thing about unspoken rules is sometimes they have to be spoken.

  3. Hey, I'm 54. I've heard that 47 is the new 26. Or something.


You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.