Here Are Dem Monkeys

OK, here's my monkey story. It needs charming, whimsical illustrations. Which I can't provide. So I hope you can enjoy the words without the pictures.

But first...I got a very special package in the mail today. I can't wait to tell you about it tomorrow. Until then, thanks, RageMichelle! You rock!

And now...monkeys.

Monkey's Dozen
by Chuck Baudelaire

If I had a monkey

I would let it ride shotgun.

If I had two monkeys

I would put one in the back seat

And let one ride shotgun.

If I had three monkeys

I would give one to my sweetheart

And put one in the back seat

And let one ride shotgun.

If I had four monkeys

I would teach one to roll out a pie crust

And give one to my sweetheart

And put one in the back seat

And let one ride shotgun.

If I had five monkeys

I would dress one in toreador pants

And teach one to roll out a pie crust

And give one to my sweetheart

And put one in the back seat

And let one ride shotgun.

If I had six monkeys

I would enroll one in drama school

And dress one in toreador pants

And teach one to roll out a pie crust

And give one to my sweetheart

And put one in the back seat

And let one ride shotgun.

If I had seven monkeys

I would call that a monkey’s dozen

Because seven of monkeys is like twelve of most anything else.

And since seven is a lucky number

I would make seven wishes,

One per monkey.

And here they are:

One wish for health,

One wish for wealth,

One wish to live long,

One wish to be strong,

One wish for love,

One I haven’t thought of.

And one wish for a monkey.