Thursday, January 29, 2015

Nothing Bad Will Happen If You Click Here. I Promise.

Hey, Drunkards!

Last night I spent the better part of two hours trying to resuscitate my computer.


Because I clicked on a link that seemed totes legit.

Usually I'm really good at this.
Listen up, peeps: If you get a popup that says, in any form, "Update your Java and this is totally not malware," close down your fucking browser and take a walk around the block.

And this too.
Really, I'm pretty damn tech savvy. I've been watching over networks and their users for quite some time now. I'm not inclined to be taken in by random popups or viral posts.

Except that this time, I was.

I don't know, Jackie Chan meme. If I knew,
I would have avoided being stupid. Really.
Tonight, I freaked out and clicked on a goddamn link that promised to update my online security.

And I fell for it, because vodka and pretty much straight-up self-loathing.

Author's note: This is where I stopped writing the post, because I guess vodka + self-loathing = sleepy-bye time. But I did disarm the nastyware I downloaded, so I feel pretty great about that. Maybe I should get a job as a drunk IT specialist. 

Totally a thing. For professionals only, please.


  1. I've been duped by that one before. And, I supposedly, know better. I despise the people that come up with these things.

  2. I used to think the people who wrote malware were evil geniuses. Then an IT person told me no, they're just assholes who know enough to pull code from other programs and string it together. In other words they know just enough to be dangerous. Sort of like me, except I know my limits when it comes to computers. If I were that tech-savvy I'd put my energy into putting iOS 5 back on my iPhone.


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