Tuesday, January 28, 2014

My Phone's Name Is HAL

Today on my Facebook mobile app, I had this conversation with Drummer Boy (who doesn't want to be publicly ID'd in my blog, so I've cleverly disguised his identity):

Immediately after this exchange, Facebook froze, Google stopped working, and I got a weird pop-up in a language I didn't recognize.

It heard me.

Throwing shade at a technology you're completely
dependent on is not a good idea, Dave.
Great. Now my smartphone is HAL, or Damien, or some other creepy-ass movie character that gave me nightmares as a kid.

I am not jumping off the roof for a goddamn cellphone.
Unless it really wants me to.
This - this - is why I don't want to see Her. The idea of a sentient phone is not the stuff of quirky romantic comedies. It's a freaking dystopian nightmare.

Also, is it me, or does Joaquin Phoenix totally look as if he's about to
start ranting about his red stapler like Milton in Office Space?
Anyway, thanks, Drummer Boy, for making me piss off my phone. If you want me, you know where I'll be.

In a goddamn bubble in space, with Keir Dullea's eyes.

I hate technology.


  1. Things like the completely unnecessary changes Apple made to my iPhone when I stupidly upgraded from their OS 6 to 7 make me hate technology. Or rather I hate some of the idiots who make technology. I hate it when I talk to a software developer about a program and he asks, "Why would you want it to do that?" And when I explain why I need it to do "that" because it's part of my damn job he replies, "The problem is you need to change what you're doing."

    We will not end up in The Matrix serving computer overlords because computers become too smart. We will end up serving computers because techno-geeks who make computers think that's what we should be doing.

  2. What was the language like? Was the pop up in Latin script, or Cyrillic, or something else?

  3. The use of wallpaper is very popular on the new phones that have the larger color displays Harley Quinn wallpaper


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