Wednesday, July 17, 2013

This Could Be You

Ever wonder what kinds of conversations brilliant, renowned bloggers have in their real lives?

I have no idea. But here's an online chat I had with a good friend tonight.

Me: How was your day?
My Friend (who for reasons that will shortly become obvious, I will call Baby Fresh Butt): Good. I went shopping after lunch...among other things, I bought some toilet paper that does not tear.
Me: So many questions that I absolutely refuse to ask.

Baby Fresh Butt: Gag toilet paper for the manager's bathroom. I'm going to be nice and make sure there is a real roll within reach.
Me: Oh. I thought you meant you actually went on a search for non-tearing toilet paper. Because your wiping standards are so high.
Baby Fresh Butt: I do use "butt wipes" for that "fresh as a newly changed baby" feeling. TMI?
Me: Why do I get the feeling you judge my hygiene when we're together?
Baby Fresh Butt: ? I have no issues with your hygiene.
Me: You're very clean. And fresh.  And I have crusty feet.

Baby Fresh Butt: I have crooked pinky toes and weird toenails. Now if I catch you looking at my feet I'm going to pie you in the face...Stooge style.
Me: Only if I can clean up with one your wipes. I have such a strong urge to post this conversation on my blog.
Baby Fresh Butt: You can't use my real name OR [redacted alternate nickname - such paranoia!].

Me: Nope.
Baby Fresh Butt: "Nope," as in?
Me: As in, I wouldn't do that. I'll just call you "Baby Fresh Butt."
Baby Fresh Butt: OK, that sounds like an innocent child. People will think it's cute.
Me: Eh, the urge has passed.
Baby Fresh Butt: I've passed urges before.
Me: That's it.
*runs off to post conversation on blog*
And the moral of the story careful what you say to me. A lot of times I have nothing better to put up here.

1 comment:

  1. LOL! I'd say it was a TMI conversation, but then I've had worse with my friends. I guess you just get to the point with some people where there's no such thing as crossing the line.


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