Wednesday, November 7, 2012

(Nearly) Rantless

I admit it: I was all geared up to deliver a rant today aimed at the Republicans and how we've given them four years to try to torpedo the President of the United States at the expense of the country they claim to love, and now would they please get down to work so the next four years aren't a massive waste of everybody's time?

But I'm just too damn worn out. The election is over at long last, and for the moment I'm simply out of bile. It will replenish itself, I'm sure. My bile is a totally renewable resource.

Just to be sure, I'll double up on my daily dose
of Bile Beans Laxative Plus.
That should keep me from waking liverish.
Instead, I'm just going to offer a few random facts and observations. Those are fun, right?

First of all, I was a little disappointed that I was the only person at my polling location who danced after voting yesterday. I even sang a little song that went "I got my vote on, I got my vote on." It was very cool, because there was a double line of people waiting for their turn, so it was a little like being in the dance line on "Soul Train." But nobody joined in.

Tsk. Voting is a joyous privilege, people. If participating in free elections isn't cause for breaking out in spontaneous awkward dancing, I don't know what is.

You've got four years to get some moves to bust.
Next: I got a job, bitches! Regular readers know that at the end of September I got laid off from my spectacular overpaid position doing nothing for a green technology company. It'll all be in the book. But starting Monday, I'll be doing actual work. Gulp. I don't know yet how the need to be productive will affect this blog. I have faith that I'll find a way to manage it. My ability to avoid work without being detected is honed to a razor's edge.

To be a tiny bit serious for a brief moment, I'm well aware that my six weeks of unemployment could just as easily have stretched into six months, as it has for so many people. I had the support and encouragement of an amazing network of friends and colleagues. They not only generously steered me toward opportunities but kept me from entering a state of wrist-slitting panic over what my brain insists on characterizing as the moral failure of losing my job. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for that support, and for the kind words that came from Drunkards I've never even met. It's not a word I toss around lightly, but I feel blessed to have all of you in my life.

I'm stoked about becoming this person again.
Last thing: I wanted to let you know the reason I bugged out on the live-blogging event on my Facebook page last night before the election returns were all in. Here it is: the combination of large amounts of vodka and leftover candy corn created an existential chemical reaction, resulting in the creation of an alternate personality who decided to stage a coup on the part of me who isn't Chuck Baudelaire - and totally won. Then she started sending out private messages that weren't remotely related to the election and eating all the Fun-Size Milky Ways. Poor Chuck had to go into hiding.

Yeah, it was weird. That chick definitely drinks too much.

Anyway, that's all from here. I'm going to take the unemployment money I haven't spent yet and go shopping. Gotta keep that economy stimulated. The Prez needs all the help he can get.


  1. I have to say, I'm newish to your Facebook page and I found the commentary to be entertaining. And don't worry, everyone was posting like crazy last night!

    1. You're a sweetheart for saying so. Be sure to like and follow me...I'm kind of a whore that way.

  2. Voting should always involve dancing. And winking with finger guns!


You're thinking it, you may as well type it. The only comments you'll regret are the ones you don't leave. Also, replies to threads make puppies grow big and strong.