Lunching with the Loser

Today the President of the United States invited a common citizen to have lunch with him in the White House.

Why is it that whenever Mitt Romney shakes someone's hand, he looks like a dorky 4-H kid being congratulated on having the fattest pig at the county fair?

Amiright? Anyway, check out the body language. President Obama is leaning in, ramrod-straight with one hand casually in his pocket. I can almost see him silently mouthing "Get out my office, boy," while Romney smiles nervously, aware there are no Secret Service agents in evidence to save him from the crazy power-mad black man.

You see that, don't you?

So...what is with the butt-ugly brown Crate & Barrel couches in the Oval Office? Bo-ring. I thought the Obamas had style. I thought they'd be rocking something more like this.

That's how I'd deck it out, anyway.

But I digress. I'm in love with the idea of the President having his vanquished opponent for lunch. That's symbolism, that is. But it gets better.

You know what Mitt Romney was served? White turkey chili. White turkey chili. Bwahahaha!

Also, grilled chicken salad. You know, grilled chicken. Like in the Presidential debates.

Ba-gawk.

I also note that Mr. Romney arrived at the White House in a lone SUV, riding shotgun. He entered via a side door. Following a bit of confusion when the Obamas' maid thought he was trying to get in to leave a copy of the Book of Mormon for the First Family. What fun!

I'd like to think that after lunch the President challenged Mr. Romney to leg-wrestle. Because I'm sick that way. I'm sure Mr. Obama simply had him frisked and then escorted out. Gracious to a fault, is our President.

Now kiss my ring, fool. Just kidding. But do it.

Other than the official photo at the top of this post, no press were allowed at the lunch, so we don't know what actually went on between the most powerful man in the world and the other guy. My account could be completely accurate.

If you have a better scenario, let's hear it. Especially if it involves Barry kicking Mitt's ass of the fiscal cliff.