In my
very first ever blog post, I told a moderately amusing story about how my jeans split when I was getting into my car, while I was carrying the new pair of jeans that - through sheer fortuity - I had just purchased. Yeah, it sounds pretty stupid when I say it like that, but if you read the post, it's only mediocre.
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I am totally going to let you imagine that I looked like this. |
This morning, the jeans I bought that day - the ones that saved the world from seeing my hoo-ha and thus deserve the Nobel Prize for Jeans - met the same fate. I was sitting at the breakfast table, and when I reached down to scratch my leg, I felt flesh instead of denim.
Yes yes I was scratching my inner thigh in the privacy of my own kitchen shut up.
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Again, I invite you to believe this is my thigh. |
My beloved Levi's capri-length jeans, which had served me so well for three years, accommodating the imperceptible weight gain I've experienced in that time (
ahem), going with everything in my closet, getting softer and more comfy with each washing, split open in exactly the same place as their predecessors. A very mean person would surmise aloud that this had something to do with the fact that the thighs of my jeans tend to rub together, due perhaps to a genetic disposition of mine to store fat in that area.
I don't think mean people like that read this blog. But if they do: Get stuffed, asshole.
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Love youuuuuuu. |
It was all very ironic. I think. I'll have to ask Alanis Morrissette.
So today I bought a new pair of jeans. They're not exactly the same as the old ones - you know, when you buy a new car you don't get the same model, when you get a new dog you realize your previous dog was a unreproducible freak of nature - and they're definitely not as buttery-soft as the old ones. That will come with time. And friction. Lots of friction.
Also, it's possible they're a size bigger than the ones I bought three years ago. Maybe I just like baggy jeans. Yep. As far as you know, that's it.
When these split, I'll let you know. It's good to know that I already have a post topic for some day three years from now.
P.S. I also bought some other clothes today. I'm not saying there's a reason I might need new clothes, but I will say I may not be able to sit around all day in my jammies for much longer. Wink-wink.
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