What's Wrong with My Life?

Last night I watched an old Bob Hope movie on TV, had a few drinks, and roamed the Web.

Precisely.

Meanwhile, I just learned that my good friend Riley's Mom had a party last night to which the police had to be called to fend off a chainsaw-wielding neighbor who was threatening to murder a Honda.

Which I imagine went down something like this.

Clearly I've got to get out more. I need to start crashing parties. Or at least start watching better movies. Or get a chainsaw.

Damn.