1. I was not arrested for DWI last night.
2. I was not arrested for DWI for the second time in the past six months last night.
3. I did not crash my 1998 Trans Am into a construction zone because I was drunk.
4. I do not drive a 1998 Trans Am.
Which doesn't say anything about my drinking, but speaks volumes about my not having the mentality of a 17-year-old boy. |
6. I did not refuse a Breathalyzer test even after a sheriff's deputy told me I smelled like a bar at closing time.
7. In addition to not being arrested for DWI, I also was not charged with a felony for threatening to kill the arresting officers while being taken to jail.
Do what now? |
9. I did not take this mug shot.
10. I am not Randy Travis - country singer, two-time drunk driver, and guy too damn dumb to spend a few bucks of his vast fortune on a driver.
I am just fine.
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Hey, here's Randy's mug shot from back in February.
He's getting better at them. A few more tries and he'll have it down.
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