Monday, April 30, 2012

President. Soul Singer. Cowpoke.

In Plano, Texas there's a great burger place called Country Burger. It's been in business since the early 1600s, or maybe it just seems that long. Anyway, it's a family-owned place and it makes the best fast, no-frills hamburgers in the world. In the world. The Baudelaire family has been eating there since before there was a Baudelaire family, when we were just a guy and a girl and an unfertilized egg somewhere deep in my Fallopian tubes.

There, don't say I never run any pictures
of Precocious Daughter.
I could rhapsodize about Country Burger all day, but really, go to Plano and eat there. That might be a bit more difficult for my Ukrainian readers (yo, Ukes!), but still, it's worth the trip from anywhere.

Even Highland Park. Or, you know, send your third butler.
Country Burger is decorated with, in the immortal words of Moe Szyslak, "a whole bunch of crazy crap on the walls." Most of it is Texan, country, Plano, or used license plate in theme. Like the huge ratty cowhide tacked to one wall (which was a lot less ratty 20 years ago, but still huge). But there are also two framed paintings of cowboys, hanging right between the cowhide and the soda fountains. We see them every time we eat there, but it took us a long time to identify the cowboy on the right.

Do you see it yet?
Then one day, a couple of years ago, it hit us:  It's Cowboy President Obama!

Do you see it now?
Or am I on drugs?
Wouldn't you like to know?
Once we saw it, we couldn't unsee it. That picture's residency in Country Burger way predates Barack Obama's presidency, so it's kind of weird. But...I mean, you see the resemblance, right? You see that it's a painting of President Obama sitting on a fence in cowboy garb, don't you? We're not crazy, are we?

I mean, if he can slow-jam the news, he can rope a cow, right?
You think we're crazy, don't you?


Then I won't even show you the other cowboy painting.


Obviously, the idea of Cowboy Vincent is simply absurd.

Oh, when you go, have a strawberry milkshake. Yum. Just don't touch the cowhide - that thing is being held together by cobwebs and hope, I think.


  1. You have invoked one of my favorite Moe Syzlak quotes ever. I think it every time I eat at Cracker Barrel, which is more than I'd like to admit. If my work ever takes me back to Tejas, I'm hitting this place up.


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