Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Ooh, Ooh, Go Here! IF YOU DARE

OK, so today one of my Facebook friends shared a link from one of his Facebook friends that I thought was awesome.

Random aside: I've never actually met this particular Facebook friend. We have a mutual Facebook friend who once shared one of my posts with him, and he subsequently friended me, which I thought was really nice of him since he doesn't know me and also it's a lot cooler for me to have him as my Facebook friend than vice versa (because he's a professional musician and I'm a moron). The point is, the term "Facebook friend" has almost nothing to do with actual "friends" as most of us grew up with the concept, meaning people you would recognize if you saw them on the street and who would probably not have arrested if you started talking as if you knew personal details of their lives. But I digress.

I'll try to be less creepy from this point forward.
Anyway, the link was to this anagram generator. You type your name in, and it gives you an anagram of the letters. Yeah, there are a gazillion of these things on the Internet. But this one cracked me up because it invariably spits out really good mashups of your name, which you can then post directly to Facebook and make yourself sound like a deviant.

So when I typed in my real name (which only has 10 letters), it gave me a pretty cute result. Then I typed in my full legal first-middle-maiden-last name, and the result was I AM KINKY AS STREAKIER WHOREDOM. Which was not only hilarious but also way damn more insightful than those high-priced psychics/therapists/priests would be willing to tell me, I'll bet.

But then I got paranoid that if I posted that result here, someone would be able to reverse-engineer my real name out of it. I mean, someone who reads this blog who doesn't already know my real name because they're actually a fan and not just a friend or relative who feels obligated to humor me. Of which there must be...three? So just to be on the safe side, I fed I AM KINKY AS STREAKIER WHOREDOM back into the anagram generator, and I got I'M AN OKAY, DARKSOME WIT SHRIEKER. And at that point I got freaked out, because it was like the thing was in my head, you know?

I wouldn't wish that on anyone, not even a computer algorithm.
Of course, I also entered my nom de blog, Chuck Baudelaire, and got A LUCKIER DEBAUCH. Shit, this thing is good.

But here's when things got totally gnarly. (Sorry, I watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High the other night. I love that movie.) Precocious Daughter and I like to play Slug Bug when we're out and about. You know, spot a Beetle and punch the other person on the arm and shout "Slug Bug blue!" I'm very mature. Well, eventually we got bored with that game, because sometimes you can go, like, a mile without seeing a Bug on the road. So I decided I would slug PDaughter whenever I saw a Kia Soul. Those damn things are everywhere. Then PDaughter decided she would slug me whenever she saw a Honda Accord. And there are 12 quinjillion of those things around, which means my daughter gets to punch her mother in the arm repeatedly on even the shortest car trip. Probably almost half as often as I deserve it.

When I entered Precocious Daughter in the anagram generator, it came back with...SUPER ACCORD TOUGHIE.

Finally, I entered Beloved Spouse. The goddamn psyche-stalking seriously bizarre anagram generator from hell returned S.O.B. PEEVED SOUL. Which works on so many levels it's scary.

So, yeah. Check out the link. It's amazing, it's awesome, it's fucked up in the extreme. Thanks to my Facebook friend for getting me sucked into it. And to his Facebook friend who shared it with him, who is so many degrees of separation from me that we could be related and not know it. Although if he told me his anagram name, I bet we'd feel instantly bonded.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the post. Love to solve anagrams almost as much as inventing them. If you like TV + anagrams, check out my blog.


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