Thursday, September 7, 2017

Are You Feeling Skinny, Punk?

Precocious Daughter and I spent last evening getting ready for Decades Day, an event at her school where the kids are supposed to wear the costume of a particular decade.

PDaughter chose 70s Punk. Because she worships the Sex Pistols, you guys.

As one does, I suppose.

Last weekend PDaughter and I scoped out the local Goodwill store, in search of decade-defining clothing on the cheap.

We found a bitchin' 80s-vintage jacket, and some psychedelic '60s pants, before she stumbled upon...

...a pair of skinny, multi-zippered, faux-leather trousers that screamed "Sex Pistols" louder than Sid Vicious ever actually did.

We also found an amazing faux-leather jacket with a great big metal buckle in the back.

Punk heaven.

Seriously, way cuter than this.

So here's the actual thing.

D'you remember the social media post from the woman who was a size 12 who tried to squeeze into a size 16 at H&M and could barely breathe?

This, if you don't remember.

Anyway, the pleather pants PDaughter found - but didn't want to try on because the try-on rooms were full and also funky - were from H&M. They were a size 6.

PDaughter is legit a size 0. Honestly, she is. I know, right?

But you know, she held the pants up and decided they seemed to be cut a bit small, and anyway if they turned out to be large on her, it was just a dress-up day, no biggie.

So we bought them, and the cute pleather jacket, which came to a grand total of, like, 12 bucks. The best part was when my angel-faced little girl plonked down this faux-black-leather outfit in front of the Goodwill Store cashier, who said, "Oh my...look what you found!" with a look of poorly-concealed horror on her face.

We quickly explained about it being for a dress-up day to save the poor woman from getting the vapors.

Fast-forward. We made a Target run, saw a movie, then went home. PDaughter decided to try on her punk outfit.

You guys...the size 6 H&M pants were skin-tight on my size 0 daughter.

That's three sizes above her norm, and she can't take them off without turning them inside out. She can't bend her leg all the way back when she's wearing them.

WTF, H&M?

Who is your target audience? Women with rock-solid self-esteem who don't mind buying clothes 3-4 sizes above what they wear in any other brand? Foreigners who don't understand how our clothing is sized? Itty-bitty fairy-aliens with long spindly limbs that will fit into sleeves and pant legs that are only three inches across?

And why do brands insist on making clothes that are small for their size instead of large? Clothing makers: This size-10 mama would be thrilled to buy your entire line if you'd let me "fit" into a size 6. Honest. And I don't think I'm alone in that. Amiright, ladies?

Yikes.

So tomorrow is Decades Day, and PDaughter will be wearing leather pants, an artfully deconstructed t-shirt (complete with safety pins), and a plaid vest that formerly was a shirt. Lots of black eyeliner and attitude to complete the look.

I hope she doesn't decide she loves it so much that she adopts it permanently.

Mostly because if she eats a sandwich, she's going to split those size-6 pants.

4 comments:

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  2. After deleting two other comments that were just dumb, I'm just going to say that I think it's really, really cool that she's doing the 70s punk thing. And going to Goodwill for it, no less. Fantastic!

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  3. In spite of having known women for most of my life I seem to have forgotten that women's sizes only come in even numbers. I'm sure the fashion industry's reasoning is, "We don't want women to feel odd...just terrible about themselves!"
    Anyway congratulations to PDaughter on not looking like Stevie Nicks in hippie clothes and tell her not to spend all her money on drugs*.

    *Just kinda assuming she's seen Sid & Nancy and will get that this is a joke.

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