Do you want to feel so much fucking better about yourself right now?
Well, all righty, then.
Give yourself one point if:
Last night your significant other did NOT go hang out at a club with some people you don't know and didn't even mention s/he was doing so.
Your teenager did NOT refuse to go school today because s/he "just wasn't feeling it," leaving you to go to work feeling like the world's worst fucking parent.
Your middle-aged white male boss did NOT take all the other middle-aged white male employees in the office out to lunch, not only not inviting you but simply walking past your desk without saying a word, as if you didn't exist.
You did NOT consume about a soda can's worth of vodka upon getting home from work because you can't deal with all the other shit that happened today.
Did you get more than -6 points?
Congratulations, you're not fucked up.
For the record, none of that shit applies to me in the last 24 hours.
Probably I'm going to drink myself to death tonight.
Serves everybody right. PDaughter obviously would rather live with her dad, Drummer Boy has a life that has nothing to with me, and the goddamn white males at my job don't give a shit about anything I do.
I hope you guys got a perfect score.
I'm feeling less than zero.
Have a great weekend.