Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Bestie Birthday

Tomorrow is Bestest Friend's birthday. Unless you live in goddamn Ukraine or somewhere, in which case it's already tomorrow and you should probably be getting ready for work or something.

I am beloved in Ukraine. All those balloons? Totally for me.

Anyway, Bestest Friend is extending her record streak of being 35 years old (and I'm extending my record streak of always being just a little bit younger than she is). She is the most amazing person, you guys. Wife, mother, Licensed Professional Counselor, civic booster, supporter of the arts, survivor of many a New England winter, lover of the Beatles and the Rutles.

An important quality.

My Precocious Daughter and Bestest Friend's Daughter (we call them the Godcousins) were born just about eight months apart. If you do the math, this means that on the day I called Bestest Friend in the hospital to congratulate her on becoming a mom, I also told her I had just found out I was pregnant. That's how we roll. 

So, by way of wishing a Happy Happy HAPPY Birthday to this wonderful woman, I shall now relay the following anecdote.

Not long ago, I was telling PDaughter about the longstanding friendship between me and her godmother. Because I can't really relate some of the more, um, sensitive stories from our past (there's BB and SJDH and...well, if you have a Bestest Friend, you get the gist), I decided to sum up our friendship by saying, "Bestest Friend is like Mary Tyler Moore, and I've always been Rhoda."

I'm not Jewish, and she's not Presbyterian, but otherwise.
And my child - my beautiful, brilliant, way-too-perceptive-for-my-own-good child - looked at me and said, "You're not Rhoda. You're Phyllis."

I'm what now?


Or she may be onto something. Whatever.
Look, I gave up on being Mary a long time ago. But I don't know if I can be Phyllis.

And I completely understand that if you're not familiar with "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and/or you don't know me IRL, you may be floundering just a tad right now. Trust me when I say, for me, and as someone of my age, this is AN EXTREMELY FREAKING IMPORTANT TOPIC.

But if you're in a position to have an opinion on the subject, please weigh in. Am I Rhoda, or am I Phyllis? Or am I Sue Ann Niven, which would be completely awesome if I thought I had any chance in hell of ever being Betty White.

Whatever the answer ends up being, it's still Bestest Friend's birthday, and I still love her with every fiber of my being. Happy Birthday, my dear, dear friend. No matter who the fuck I turn out to be, you are always and forever Mary Tyler Moore.

I love you, you magnificent bastard. <3 div="">


  1. It's all about POV. You're telling the story, ergo, you are MTM. She is Rhoda. When Bestie is telling the story she is MTM, you're Rhoda.

    My bestie and I can't decide who is Thelma, who is Louise.

  2. In my mind, Rhoda was always cooler and more grounded than neurotic Mary. Rhoda always knew exactly what to say to Mary to help Mary settle down when the neurosis took over. You, my friend, have always been my Rhoda, always ready with a witty retort and a roll of the eyes to settle my hash down. This post is the best early birthday present, ever!

    (Phyllis was fun, but she was also kind of an instigator. She'd totally name names in your blog, unlike Rhoda and Mary who knew to stick with initials to protect the innocent...).

    Love you, CB.


  3. I want to say you're Phyllis only because Cloris Leachman is amazing, but you have to be Mary because you're gonna make it after all. Hey, you have made it.
    Although I also think you may really be Lou: outwardly grumpy but genuinely kind and you keep everything under control. Oh, wait, that sounds more like Bestie, and you're her Mary.

    Yeah, I'm obviously Ted Baxter, even though I'd prefer to be Isaac, your ship's bartender.

  4. Rhoda was the best, she totally deserved a better spin-off than she got. Though Carlton Your Doorman was pretty cool. And Nancy Walker. And Julie Kavner. Heck, why wasn't that show better? Anyway, Go Rhoda!


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