If That Thing Fits

I bought three pairs of really cute shoes recently, and I haven't worn any of them.

Not these, but how freaking adorable are they?

I don't think I deserve to wear the shoes I bought.

How goddamn pathetic is that?

I ordered all three pairs online, and each time I thought, "I can't wait to wear those." But when they arrived, and I unboxed them and beheld them in all their totally-living-up-to-expectations-of-greatness-ness, I had but one thought:

"I can't wait until I feel good enough to wear those."

That of course begs the question: Why do I not feel good enough to wear cute shoes?

Bitches, allow me to present this episode of "Dinosaur Comics" to explain
how I'm using the phrase "begging the question" correctly. Bitches.

I don't feel I deserve to wear insanely cute shoes.

I don't know exactly why I feel this way. After all, I'm not just Working Mom, I'm Single Mom, Dating Mom, and Trying Not to Be a Complete Fucking Disgrace to Her Daughter Mom.

That should count for something, right?

Am I Wonder Woman? Oh, shut up.

Here's what I am: a newly single mom who has enough nerve to order super-cute shoes from the Internet when she's feeling alone and saucy. But maybe not so brave as to actually wear said super-cute shoes when they arrive. And maybe just keeps wearing her increasingly sad and worn mall-bought shoes because they are safe and sensible.

So even though my closet contains:

Black-and-white polka-dot pumps with kitten faces on them...

and

Off-white patent peep-toe shoes adorned with peacock-feather designs...

and

Pink suede lace-up pumps made for swing dancing...

don't expect to me see me rocking them any time soon.

Not until I convince myself I deserve them.

Do I deserve them?

Your feedback is totally welcome.

And if I decide to wear any of my adorable shoes, I'll post pictures of my gnarly feet wearing amazing shoes. I promise.

Go.